


Bastard & Dullard

by gabsmatos



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Inspired by Roleplay/Roleplay Adaptation, M/M, Phase Five (Gorillaz), Roleplay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2019-08-21 13:02:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 38,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16577015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gabsmatos/pseuds/gabsmatos
Summary: Reencounter after Murdoc is released.Adaptation of a RPMe as Murdoc and@stupotatoas Stuart.





	1. Chapter 1

2D pushed past the beaded curtain that stood as a 'door' and into his room.  He sat down on his bed and found himself staring down at his boots, lost in thought. Murdoc had just reached home from Patagonia and he didn’t know what to do.

 Why was he being like this?  Why couldn't he just be nice?  Sure, there'd been the car 'accidents', the continued abuse both mental and physical, the kidnapping....  Oh, right.  He had plenty to be sour about and it seemed to have festered damn quick inside of him to produce this sort of anger.  Oh, well.  This was him now.  Wasn't it?

Eventually the singer left his room again to stop in the bathroom before he headed into the kitchen.  He wanted to help himself to a bit of heavier liquor, preferably with some sort of mixer.  He'd started drinking more than usual when Murdoc had been gone.

Murdoc took a long shower as he needed and went down to the kitchen to eat something. He only had eaten in the plane so he was hungry. There he found 2D and completely ignored him, just raising a brow when he noticed he was drinking... something Stuart didn't usually do. Not on that time of the day. Maybe he was more similar to the Satanist than he thought. He sighed entering the room. The bassist opened the fridge absentmindedly. The house was empty besides of Noodle that brought his sorry arse back home.

2D had eventually settled on a whiskey and Coke, fixing his drink for himself.  In the middle of it he heard Murdoc enter the room and smirked a little to himself.  The scent in the air only confirmed the footsteps had belonged to exactly who he thought they did.

2D spun on his heel and turned away from the counter.  One of his elbows came back and rested upon the edge of the countertop and he rocked his weight back onto it.  One leg crossed before the other, his right foot's toes pressed into the ground.  The position was almost too casual.  Stu lifted his glass as if to toast the bassist and he then took a healthy swig of his beverage.

"Back already?  I thought you had more self control than that," he teased.

Murdoc sighed grabbing him something to make a sandwich, besides that he wanted a glass of water. The dehydration in the cold cost him a lot. He didn't look to Stuart focused on his stuff. He loved whiskey for sure and he knew 2D was just trying to tease him. He wouldn't fall for that. Or drink with him anymore. That pose, those actions... it wasn't his singer.

2D didn't seem shocked or bothered that Murdoc had chosen to ignore him rather than put up with his antics.  That was fair.  Didn't mean he was going to stop, though.  Arsehole.

"We're playing the quiet game now?  Are you really that mad that I got a backbone?"  Stu scoffed and took another sip of his drink, ice clinking against the glass as he tipped it.

"Oi.  You wanna make me some food while you're at it, _luv_?"  There was that word again, derisive and full of sarcasm.

Murdoc felt his hairs standing from anger. 2D was getting under his skin. The satanist sat down silently and began eating his sandwich and drinking his water. He smiled while doing that, noticing now how he was hungry now. Murdoc looked at the lad next to him drinking, could tell Stuart was drunk by now. The bassist really wanted to see how he would behave from now on. How far he would go.

Murdoc knew himself that some time ago if the singer ignored him that way he would get mad and drunkenly punch him to get some attention. Would Stuart go that far with him?

2D's paltry weight did him little favor when he was drinking and he'd managed to down his beverage quite quickly.  Considering the stress of knowing Murdoc was coming back had dulled his appetite, he was also drinking on an empty stomach.  He was feeling the effects of the liquor the longer he stood there and gradually more weight was rocked back onto his elbow that braced his body up against the counter.

Murdoc's ignoring him just wouldn't do, though.  He would be heard and responded to accordingly if he had his way.  "Oi!  You deaf or something?"

Murdoc smirked when he swallowed everything at once. Stuart was nervous with that little game of his. He would need help, the Satanist knew that for sure... no way Stuart could handle that amount of alcohol without puking or hurting himself. Why he was doing that? Right in front of Murdoc... He wanted to prove some stupid point?  Anyway Murdoc was aware of that. "I'm just fucking tired of your shit." He mumbled still eating and not looking at him.

" _My_ shit?"  2D rolled his eyes, the motion somehow conveyed more in his exasperated expression rather than his 'blank' eyes themselves.  "Well, excuse me, Mr. 'I'm going to lie to bloody everybody about what's really going on with me'.  Like you don't have enough shit to deal with for the both of us.  Don't get at me about mine, you hear me?"

Stuart rocked forward from the counter, wobbling a little before he managed to regain his balance.  He stared almost blankly toward Murdoc as if he'd momentarily forgotten just what was going on but he snapped out of the stupor just as quickly.  Deciding to stupidly prove a point, the boy made his way over to the table and aimed to snatch the remainder of Murdoc's sandwich right out of his hand.  It wasn't outright violence but it was quite bold for the bluenette.

Ex-fucking-cuse me you tosser...”He pulled his sandwich back into his plate. “Just cuz you grew up some balls it doesn't mean you can do whatever you want in this fucking household..." Murdoc stood up from where he was sitting in the kitchen "You're fucking drinking your ass off in front of me... you're acting like a bloody child, teasing, being an asshole and..." His whole body shook angrily "Fuck I can't believe I missed you... you know what _fuck you_!" He shoved him against the wall. " _I hate what you’ve become_." He was about to leave.

2D growled when Murdoc had pulled the sandwich back away from him and 2D retracted his arm quickly in an annoyed fashion.  As Murdoc stood up his gaze followed the movement, eventually locking with Murdoc's in some sort of little stand-off.  2D could see he was rather upset and for some reason this had only brought a smirk to his face rather than the usual fear that would have been present.

Even when Murdoc shoved him up against the wall he didn't even bring his hands up to defend himself in the pathetic way he used to.  They hung limp at his sides.  The man didn't seem to think that Murdoc would actually do anything to him while in this fit for whatever reason.  Hopefully he was right, for his sake.

"C'mon..  You don't mean that, do you, _Mudsie_?"  2D reached out suddenly, grabbing Murdoc by his collar and pulling him in uncomfortably close.  "Am I not new and exciting?"  He was slurring his words now, grip faltering just slightly.

Murdoc found odd his attitude.... but his pants told him otherwise. He was really exciting all confident like that. "What the fuck you want..?" He could smell the whiskey on his breath almost making his knees give in. He swallowed hard. Stuart was fucking messing with his head right now.

2D kept his hold upon Murdoc's collar, expression slowly turning into some sort of entertained, impish grin.  Perhaps wanting to put Murdoc 'in his place' or simply demean him slightly he'd moved, dragging his tongue slowly up the side of the bassist's face with a little flick of the tip added for good measure before he drew back.  He glanced pointedly downward for a moment.

"What do _I_ want?"  His grin only grew bigger.  " _How about you get on your knees and show me how much you miss me?"_   His voice was a silky purr, one likely reserved to drop the panties of groupies.

"What? I'm not getting on my knees you wanker..." He frowned but the bulge on his pants was already visible and his face was blushing. He took a step back trying to avoid the singer. "You're bloody drunk Stuart..." He said the obvious.

2D tutted softly and tightened his grip on Murdoc's collar as he started to step backward and yanked on it, drawing him right back in.  "That wasn't a request, Muds." he informed the older man.  His eyes dropped once again and of course he took note of the tenting of Murdoc's trousers. "I dunno why you're fighting.  Obviously you like the idea..."

One of his hands finally left Murdoc's shirt to lower down, fingertip pressing against the tip of the hardness in his pants.  "Go on, then...  Use that mouth of yours for something other than bitching." the drunken vocalist teased.

Murdoc got really mad. Of course he wanted that, but not in the middle of the bloody kitchen. What if anyone appeared or Noodle went to grab something to eat? He dragged the singer into his bedroom by his wrist ignoring his complains and slammed the door locking it. "If you want to do it we'll do it my way." He threw the singer on his bed violently and took off his shirt.

2D let out a noise of surprise as the control of the situation had suddenly shifted into Murdoc' hands.  When he was dragged he'd put up a bit of a struggle but at the end of the day Murdoc had proven he could manhandle Stu many a time.

The singer glanced toward the door once it had been locked and it had been enough distraction for him to be caught further off guard and tossed onto the bed.  He scrambled up onto his knees quickly, scowling.  " _Your_ way?"

"Mine, just like what I am about to make you now..." He said with a large smirk. If Stuart wanted a fight for power he would have, but in bed. "Mine."

He kneeled in front of him and ripped off his button-up shirt, brutality. The buttons flying across the room. He wanted to see how far the singer wanted to go with that ‘being in control’ thing before giving in to the sex god that Murdoc was. He was craving for the singer for those eight long months, now he had his chance.

For an instant 2D's wide white eyes had turned black when Murdoc had spoken of making him his.  The color returned to that eerie white soon after, though, and he'd been about to say something undoubtedly catty when suddenly Murdoc had torn his shirt off of him.

"Fuck, mate, calm down," Stu murmured, bravado fading for the moment alongside the surprise of Murdoc's last action.  He took a slow breath while he had the chance, hoping to center himself and regain his footing in the situation.

"Well," he said, clearing his throat, "You being down, there's a good start."  Stu shifted his hand, suddenly gripping a handful of Murdoc's hair and pulling on it hard.  His intention was to then press his own clothed erection into the side of the bassist's face. "Cos if you think you're gonna be on top I've got some bad news for ya."

Murdoc got angry again, he hated when somebody messed with his hair. With a loud growl, quickly he shoved the singer against the bed from where he was, down, topping him and pinning his both arms over his head.

"Bad news huh?" He licked the side of his neck till his ear nipping it and straddling on the singer's lap, now both erections were touching. "I don’t think so." He was loving all that struggle. But he couldn’t stop thinking about his eyes, they changed colors for some reason Murdoc didn’t know. He began kissing his neck roughly, a place he thought was a weak spot for Stuart.

The whole business with the singer's eyes seemed tied to emotions in the long run but God only knew the real reason for the shifts.  That last instant was probably some sign of 'weakness', new persona dropped for a millisecond when he realized it wouldn't be so easy to come out on top of this one.

Stu scowled when his limbs were pinned and he shifted, pushing his elbows down into the bed to try and get a little bit of leverage to wrest himself free.  His struggling and Murdoc's position had worked only to grind their cocks together, which was proving quite a mental distraction for the poor bluenette.

"Stoppit, y'basta..aahhh.."  2D's neck was indeed a weak point and as Murdoc had begun to pay it attention with his lips Stu lost himself for a couple seconds.  Then all at once he was back to reality, struggling again.

“I'm the one in control here," he argued although the current situation made it quite obvious that he wasn't in control in the least.  His heart thumped quick and heavy in his chest.

Murdoc chuckled and shook his head "No, you never were, _luv_..." now he said the same word with the same tone Stuart used previously.

Murdoc loved the taste of his soft skin, pinning his both hands a bit rougher so he wouldn’t struggle. He could do it easily with one hand as Stuart was really skinny. His other hand went to his nipple squeezing it, hoping he was sensitive there too.

His mouth worked on kissing and biting his neck, leaving hickeys as Murdoc loved to mark what was _his_. And for him Stuart has always been his, his singer, his best mate, and now his lover. _His_.

He rolled his hips against Stuart's feeling his own erection ache under the clothes. "C'mon stop fighting... let me show you how much I missed ya..." He teased.

Stu bared his teeth in an absolutely annoyed expression when Murdoc had denied him his dominance once again.  It was a pathetic sort of feeling to know he could be bested by just one of Murdoc's hands and shame burned his cheeks just as much as the dubious arousal had.  If only he was stronger he could actually do something about what was happening but as things were he was pretty much fucked.  Or at least would be soon.

As Murdoc's fingers found his nipple, the skin hardened beneath his touch and Stu bit down on his lower lip, using the pain to try to distract himself and keep from making any noise.  He wasn't trying to give Murdoc that sort of satisfaction.

Still, though, he wasn't out of the game just yet.  "You said you'd be a good boy for me, didn't you?  So be a good boy and ride me."  Murdoc had previously promised that, but it was just a joke. His name and “good boy” would never fit in the same phrase. As a last-ditch effort it was rather pathetic, but that was just Stu, wasn't it?  Underneath all of this false pride he wasn't much at all.

Murdoc chuckled again, "Wrong answer again, luv..." he didn’t promise he would be a good boy for him in bed. The satanist had to think quickly.

With one hand, he unbuckled both belts, his and Stuart’s while kissing his neck to make the singer not pay attention. He left a huge hickey on his sweet spot he know where it was but didn’t kiss him on the lips, just teasing him going closer them.

With a huge effort he managed to turn Stuart 180° degrees making him face his back and letting his arms free pinning them against his back. He began pulling Stuart’s pants down. "Why don't _you_ be a good boy for me and let me fuck you, huh?" he squeezed his ass to see his reaction. Murdoc already grabbed the lube that was laying under his bed, keeping his singer in pace with just his weight.

2D whined as Murdoc had continued to pepper his neck with affection and the spike of pain from the hickey seemed to have done something for Stu considering how he'd arched his back.  Obviously, his demand had fallen upon deaf ears and he'd been so busy trying to formulate other plans that he hadn't realized his belt was being fiddled with until he felt it quickly removed from around his waist.

"Oi!  Murdoc!"  Stu's voice was almost whiny as he'd been turned around and felt his trousers being pulled down.  With his arms pinned awkwardly behind his back Stu couldn't really get any leverage to push himself up any longer.  He was pinned.  Stuck.  Trapped. 

When his arse was grabbed there was a sudden burst of energy from him in the form of wild squirming that had done little more than tire the boy out.

"F..Fuckin'...  Let me go, y'tosser!  I'm..  I'm the bloody boss," he slurred, alcohol still clouding his system.

Murdoc laughed "Look here _boss_.." He laid on him going into his ear "You are _not_ in charge, not in the band, not in bed, not with me, understood?" he snarled "You're my singer, you're fucking important to this band, and to me. But you are _not_ in charge of anything. I am the leader and the boss, and you're mine too. _I own you_." He whispered the last part into his ear.

Murdoc needed to put Stuart in his place and nicely it didn’t work. "Hope I had made myself clear."

He didn’t dare to touch him anymore, just pinned his arms on his back. Murdoc was a lot of bad things but rapist wasn’t one of them. If Stuart wanted he should ask or beg for it.

Murdoc had already proved his point, but just to scare him a bit more he bite he back of his shoulder hard and opened the lube with a loud click. "I didn’t hear you, did I made myself clear Stuart?" he demanded an answer.

2D shuddered as Murdoc's voice rang out close enough to his ear that he could feel the heat of his breath on it.  The sarcastic call of 'boss' was surprisingly cutting and as Murdoc reminded him that he owned him Stu closed his eyes tightly and shook his head. 

"That's... That's not true," he sputtered, "This is my band now...". He sounded surprisingly adamant considering the fact that he was currently being held down by a madman with a bottle of lubricant in his hand.

Finally, he seemed to have reached some sort of breaking point, jerking once again before falling still with his face pushed into the mattress to hide the fact that he was crying, defeated.  Finally he'd managed to speak again, droning, "Yes, sir."

That was it. Stu's 'reign' was collapsing within five minutes of being in the man's bedroom.

Murdoc wasn't expecting to make Stuart cry. He clearly didn't want that. He sighed his boner going away. He quickly managed to let his arms free and put his pants back in place. He turned Stuart around and gave him a hug sitting on the bed and placing the singer in his lap. he wasn’t sorry really, but he didn’t mean to make Stuart cry. It was really cruel even for him.

2D wasn't really even sure why he was crying.  Was it hurt?  Fear?  Or was he simply being petulant because he realized that he just wasn't going to 'win' with Murdoc?  It didn't even seem he registered the fact that he'd been let go until he'd been pulled into Murdoc's lap, the shift in positions causing the blunette to be called back to the present rather than whatever was in his head.

"S'not true," Stu mumbled quietly, sniffling and wiping at his eyes like a child.  "You're not the boss of me anymore..  Y..You're not..."

When Stuart looked up at Murdoc again that time, notably, his eyes were black.

Murdoc felt really bad for what he had done. But Stuart asked for that... he was behaving like an asshole. But now the asshole was Murdoc and he knew that.

Murdoc held him close and looked into his eyes. Stared at them. They were black again... normal... the eyes he missed so much just for him... And they were full of sorrow and fear. It hurt.

He didn't know how to apologize or if he had too. It didn't feel right. He just placed a hand on his cheek and silently wiped his tears. The tears he made him cry.

He tried his best to calm him down... But didn't answer. Murdoc was afraid if he gave in now Stuart would behave like that again. The band wouldn't work if it happened... And he really wanted Gorillaz back.

2D knew to some extent that he was being insufferable.  But this was him now..  Wasn't it?  2D looked toward Murdoc expectantly now, lower lip shaking as the older man had wiped the tears away from his face.  Stu wasn't even really sure what he'd expected to hear.  Would Murdoc pity him and agree?  Or would he tell Stu there was no way in hell that he was leading this band?

Unfortunately, for Murdoc the lack of response entirely seemed to flip the drunken man's mood quite quickly.  All at once, his eyes were white again and he'd suddenly toppled Murdoc, straddling him.  His expression was that of almost disgusted displeasure.  "God, you're fucking useless..  Can't you even answer me!?"  It was unfair to begin with as the boy hadn't asked any question to begin with.  Whoops.

Murdoc frowned. "I already answered 2D. You're _not_ in charge." With a little amount of strength, he managed to have the control back. Even if Stuart wanted he wouldn’t let him win.

 The singer didn’t pinned his arms, big mistake. He regretted immediately caring when the singer began crying. He sat up and with his free hands he pressed the singer against the wall by his shoulders. With the movement his head hit the wall.

 "It's true, I'm your boss, it’s my band and this is fucking over Stuart" he yelled at him inches from his face. "Stop acting like a fucking moron." he clenched his teeth really mad. Murdoc felt the urge to punch him in the face, but that bump on the wall would hurt already.

It was doubtful that 2D could really hold Murdoc down for very long anyway so the point missed that he hadn't pinned his arms was rather negligible.  "For fuck's sa-"  Whatever thought Stuart had was obliterated when his head slammed back against the wall shortly after his back had.  The impact wasn't anything too damaging but it was definitely a shock and he could feel the back of his head throbbing.

2D set his jaw and turned his head away, glowering toward Murdoc as he leaned in and shouted at him.  Instead of giving in, though, he doubled-down.  Even as cocksure as he was he'd never have acted quite this bold if he hadn't had those drinks.  Big mistake, it seemed, but one that was far too late to take back.

"Maybe this is over, then!  I'll start a new bloody band.  Take the others with me.  I mean, I'm sure they'd rather stay with me over you, y'know?  And then what?  Where does that leave you?"  A bold threat.

Murdoc controlled himself not to break. When he said over his whole black soul froze.

 "Stuart for Satan's sake listen to me just once." He stared into his white and odd eyes. "I can't stand the way you are now. This is not.... you. I know you for twenty fucking years, what the fuck had happened to you?" He asked genuinely concerned still holding him against the wall.

"I know what I did and I'm sorry. Okay? I'm so fucking sorry. Is that what you wanted to hear huh? You happy now?" He took a deep breath "I missed you. I missed the band and I missed making music with you. And I'm jealous, I'm jealous ‘cuz you were capable to do all the work alone and it's a bloody success... and you didn’t need me." Now he said a bit more of what was really true. He was desperate to see Stuart back to his normal.

"You know what? You're capable of leading a band, of producing a whole fucking album of course they rather stay with you, dullard... you could replace me in a blink of an eye, you did that. You did all that and..." those words really hurt him, ‘cuz he know they were true. "The truth is that I need you more than you'll ever need me and where would I be if it wasn’t for you? With my good-for-nothing father living miserably like before I hit you with my bloody car. Maybe it's what I deserve after all." He let go his shoulders, tired of all the struggle.

Moments after Stuart had threatened what he did his eyes widened and he bit down hard on his lower lip.  The fuck was he going on about?  Stuart knew deep down he wouldn't want that, so why was he even saying it?  His hands twisted a little bit, obviously wishing for freedom but what he would do if he got it was anyone's guess.

Murdoc's apology had stopped his struggle cold and he just stared at Murdoc as he made his admissions and at least accepted the fact that 2D was well capable enough of doing things on his own.  When Murdoc released him the boy looked down with an ashamed expression on his face.

"Mu’doc..."  Once he'd spoken he raised his eyes again.  There was another transition of white to black in his eyes, slower than it had been earlier.  "I...  I need you too, you daft bastard," the bluenette mumbled.  He still seemed on the verge of cross but was no longer being forceful and frightening.

"I mean..  Where would I be if it wasn't for you?"  The question sounded as if 2D was realizing that he'd be nobody without the bassist even though he'd known that to be a fact for years.  "Just..  Fuck," Stu cursed, gritting his teeth and placing his hands on either side of his own head.  "I..  I don't know what's wrong with my head lately, blud."  Seems even 2D had some true awareness of what felt like his sanity slipping.

Murdoc was finally reaching some point there... he noticed his eyes going back to their original color. A good signal after all.

He leaned closer and hugged him, unsure if he was doing the right thing. Just simple wrapped his arms around his skinny body, one around his waist, and the other on his hair, carefully ‘cuz he had hit his head before.

 Murdoc hadn't hug anyone since he left. he missed that kind of human contact, even Noodle didn’t hug him how mad she was. Stuart wouldn’t struggle against a hug would he? He couldn't escape from where he was.

"I dunno what's wrong with me either, mate." Murdoc said softly pressing him against the wall and his body against Stuart’s. Hid his face on his shoulder, feeling terrified Stuart could leave.

He was tired of all fighting. The Satanist had got indo enough fights while in prison... he just wanted some... attention, care, soft words, a break from all the stress he was into. And it didn’t mean sex. He wanted something more. Something he felt only Stuart could give him.

2D was surprised that Murdoc had hugged him but it didn't seem like he was going to resist it.  He kept his hands on his head at the moment when Murdoc wrapped his arms around him but then slowly dropped them and snaked his arms around the other man's body in kind.  He dragged his fingers up and down slowly along the man's spine.  The comfort provided by this simple gesture felt like something he really needed.

Soon he found himself between the wall and Murdoc's body but he didn't feel terribly trapped or anything by the gesture.  Stuart slowly turned his head, daring to press a soft kiss to the bassist's jawline.

"I accept your apology, by the way," he said softly before resting his temple against Murdoc's. His breathing had slowed down from when he was angry and he slumped slightly into the bassist's body.

"Thank you..." All he could manage to say. Stuart was too good for him and he knew that even this weird version of him. He would never deserve him. This truth hit him hard. "For everything.".

He stood like that a bit longer, feeling the sweet scent he had, even with whisky mixed in it, it was still his singer. His Stu-pot and he smelled like home. He tried to calm himself down the best he could, trying to avoid his emotions once again. He didn’t want to cry in front of the singer.

Slowly he broke the hug, feeling an urge to see if his eyes were black still, if it was true or he had changed to his odd self again. His hands rested on his waist keeping his close still not letting him go.

Stuart didn't know why he was being thanked. He'd pretty much been an asshole since the minute Murdoc walked through the door, even if there had been good moments peppered throughout.  The liquor was making Stuart feel slightly sleepy and after the energy expended in his little fit it was hitting him hard, obvious in how he was leaning into Murdoc and how his breathing had slowed just a little.

As Murdoc drew back to look up at Stuart the boy looked back down toward him.  His eyes had remained black. "It's...  Weird seeing you this affectionate," he said, snickering.  "I don't mind it, though," he assured, reaching up to thread his fingers through the bassist's hair, scratching gently against his scalp.

Murdoc placed a hand on the back of his neck "I guess I might have scared you a bit... my bad." he smiled and blushed. The way he treated the singer wasn’t the most gentle one, he made him cry.

When his hand reached his hair he closed his eyes and leaned into his touch. It was much better this way than when the singer was pulling roughly. He purred in satisfaction.

 It was odd when Stuart acted toughly too but Murdoc wouldn’t say that, that attitude even scaring him turned him on as well he couldn’t deny.

He didn’t want to hurt the singer since the very beginning, but he didn’t have the chance. and he knew he deserved all that.

2D gave a weak shrug of his shoulders in response to Murdoc's semi-apology about spooking him.  "It's...  It's fine.  I mean, I'm fine.  You stopped anyway, so..."  2D allowed his voice to trail off before he looked back into Murdoc's eyes.  He seemed a little conflicted for a few seconds before he heaved a little bit of sigh.

"Mm..  I guess I'm not in charge anymore, though, huh?..  I guess I should've seen that coming..."  That other side of his was screaming at him not to give up but his sane side denied it any sort of satisfaction.  Maybe it was better off this way, anyway.  Just like old times.

Murdoc shook his head... "No you're not anymore, but It's not a matter of charge Stuart... It's..." He didn’t know what to answer and opened his eyes looking into the singer's trying to find an answer. "I always thought that... working together things were much... better than when we were apart... y'know?" No it wasn’t right.

 "I mean, I created Gorillaz but it is what it is due to everybody... You said we had a connection so, better keep with that...don’t you think?" He smiled genuinely again.

Only when Murdoc suggested that maybe who was 'boss' wasn't that important did 2D seem to realise that he had a point.  It wasn't at ll as important as what he was making it out to be.  Not at all.

"I get what you're saying," he replied softly, leaning back against the wall and gingerly resting his head back against it.  Where his head had impacted the surface earlier still stung and he had to be careful not to irritate it further.

And...  Yeah.  I don't actually want to leave you behind," he admitted.  "I'm sorry I said such a shitty thing," he mumbled, looking down with a slightly ashamed expression. The harder expressions he wore with his white eyes had faded into his well known softer ones. Stuart flashed a smile, the sort that proved that it was the real 2D giving it.

"I accept your apologies..." He repeated what the singer had told him with a smile. He placed a hand on his face "It's really good to have you back, mate.." he caressed it to bring his attention back to Murdoc. now he felt they could start again. "And sorry for your head too.. I didn't mean to." once he had started apologizing Murdoc couldn’t stop anymore. He thought it would hurt a lot more when alcohol drained from his system.

Murdoc felt relieved he made himself clear without raising fists or hurting the singer, besides his head.

He leaned closer Stu that was against the wall, craving to feel him closer again, his eyes never leaving Stuart's. They were still shirtless and when he hugged 2D it felt amazing, he couldn’t deny that, that touch was much more meaningful than if they had just shagged.

2D was very happy to hear that Murdoc accepted his apologies just the same.  There'd been some worry that he'd gone too far with that big threat and now that he knew that Murdoc wasn't terribly cross about it or holding it against him he could breathe a little easier.

"Mate, you're going to apologize for existing at this rate," he teased, trying to lighten the mood a little further than it already had been now that things had settled down.  "It's okay, though," he added, "It'll probably only hurt through t'morrow or summink."

2D shifted his hold around Murdoc as the man pressed against him, sliding his arms between Murdoc's and his body and then bringing his hands up to settle near his shoulder blades.  "..Don't let go, okay?  I just..  Wanna feel you for a moment."  The embrace felt good and 2D wanted it to last just a bit longer.

Murdoc chuckled a bit with his comment. Sometimes he wanted to apologize for existing for real...He nooded "I'd ask you just the same..." he hugged him back. "Stay... just a bit longer Stu..." he sighed wrapping his arms around him this time a bit tighter, kissing his neck tenderly before resting his head on the crook of it and closing his eyes, taking a deep much needed breath. Murdoc could see from there how purple and bruised was it..

He felt happy real Stu wanted him that close... it meant something for him.

2D couldn't help a smile from appearing on his face when Murdoc showed that he wanted to stay in the embrace longer as well.  Stu wasn't quite used to this entirely soft side of Murdoc but he found that he didn't mind it at all.  It was different than 'normal' but in a good way.  One that Stuart didn't mind at all if it remained this way.

The feel of Murdoc's lips on his neck had him sighing gently through his nose.  Stuart knew there had to have been some mark left behind by the brief spot of pain earlier but he wasn't quite aware of the extent of it.  Could probably raise some questions once they were around the others but that was a problem to be dealt with later, not now.

"It's been a long day, hasn't it?"

Murdoc nodded, body still against the singer's. He didn’t notice if it was night or day already, all he could think now is that he wanted to stay with Stuart as long as he could. Try to make things different and redeem himself for his mistakes. "Long but worth." he smiled against his neck, not really knowing what to suggest for them to do. He had lost his mood for sex but now he wouldn’t mind kisses and some cuddling.

2D had no earthly time it was outside either.  It was dark in Murdoc's room.  Then again, it didn't really matter much to Stu at all that he didn't know what time of the day it was.  It didn't matter.  If he didn't know he could just pretend this little moment could potentially last forever as well.

"Heh, yeah...  It's good to have you back, Muds," Stu whispered.  The boy brought one of his hands from Murdoc's back and cupped the side of his face as he leaned in and kissed him.  The bluenette's eyes fluttered shut and he melted into the exchange.  Somehow it had felt the right thing to do in that moment.

Murdoc smiled into that kiss... was all he could have asked for. He melted a bit the way Stuart tasted like whiskey still, one of his favorite tastes, in a whole new situation. He felt addicted to it.

He purred wrapping one of his arms around his waist and gently pressing him against the wall to kiss him deeper feeling how he was needy. His other hand went to the back of his neck pulling him close and tangling his blue hair.

2D's lips had parted without hesitation to deepen the kiss, tongue meeting Murdoc's and rubbing eagerly against it.  It was true the taste of liquor was still present on his tongue, a reminder of the fact that Stu was still a good bit inebriated.  At least it didn't seem there was a risk of him slipping back to that shit personality anytime soon.  Not when he was this comfortable like this.

The boy's hand eventually slid away from Murdoc's face and he wrapped that arm back around his body.  He shifted a little, parting his legs and shifting them to wrap them around Murdoc's hips, drawing his body closer to his own.

Murdoc managed to lay the singer on the bed in a way he could kiss him better and more comfortably. This was a situation much different than when they first entered the room, much calmer and meaningful.

 Murdoc felt his whole body burning up when he got that closer. His hand caressed his hair trying to feel Stuart the best he could. The other one he rested on his cheek, his nails slowly playing with his skin. Slowly he broke the kiss and looked into his black orbs, wordlessly, his eyes full of passion.

2D had shifted easily when Murdoc moved him, ending up upon his back beneath the older man.  Lazily his legs had left Murdoc's body then, thighs splayed open as his knees fell outward.  His arms shifted once again and came to wrap around Murdoc's waist, holding him tightly against his body.

As their lips parted 2D's eyes remained closed for a few seconds before he opened them slowly.  They immediately fell to be only half-open, though, expression hard to read between lustful and sleepy.

"I l-" he cut himself off.  It was dangerous to use that sort of word in this sort of situation and even while drunk he knew that.  Instead he just whispered, " _Bastard_ ," and flashed a terribly fond smile.  The word has somehow been said with the love that he couldn't bring himself to admit aloud somehow, losing its disparaging meaning.

" _Dullard_..." He said with the same lovely tone and smiled, infatuated with the man under him. Murdoc could tell what Stuart wanted to say previously... But respected he didn’t feel like it. He would wait till Stuart feel safe enough to that.

His heart was in his throat, the way Stuart spoke that word meant he could go ahead. he moved his head to speak into his ear "May I show now how much I missed you.... Bluebird?" He dared to use his old nickname trying to really bring his old Stu back. He didn’t sound really lustful, he sound... broken, as his absence really hurt him.

2D couldn't help but laugh when Murdoc had called him that name in return. Turnabout was fair play on that one and it pleased Stuart for some reason that he hadn't forced the issue and instead just called him a name in return. It kept things a mite simpler that way although they were both fully aware of the fact of what their words had truly meant.

When Murdoc drew in close to the boy's ear and whispered those words the boy felt a blush creep up along his cheeks. The use of that old nickname had sent his heart fluttering and he cleared his throat soon afterward as if to try and seem more nonchalant than as absolutely affected as he had been.

That same sleepy sort of smile had appeared once again on Stu's face and 2D drew back just a little in order to look back up toward Murdoc. His hands shifted, sliding across his hips and coming to land upon the older man's thighs over the fabric of his trousers.

"I think I'd like that a lot," he replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on [Tumblr](https://gabshmatos.tumblr.com)


	2. Charge

Now that Stuart asked him nicely, Murdoc felt he needed to show him. It wasn’t gonna be just sex, he would make something meaningful for the singer, that he wouldn’t forget. Or try at least.

The Satanist smiled and kissed the top of his normal nose, something stupid but he knew Stuart would like this. He began kissing from his mouth to his jawline, till his ear, biting and licking it. After he kissed under it, peppering his neck with soft kisses and eventual hickeys, much softer than what he did before. He didn’t want to only mark the singer, he wanted to show him he cared.

His hands caressed his shoulders going to his arms as Murdoc wanted to go lower and lower, planning to do what Stuart suggested in the kitchen, but now in his pace, his way. One of his hands slipped to his nipple again squeezing it softly and for a moment his gaze went up, looking for the singer's eyes.

2D's nose scrunched a little when it was kissed and he smiled quite fondly in response.  2D had obviously liked that.  Stu returned the kiss to his lips and then gently tilted his head aside to expose his ear and neck to the further attention.  His legs tightened further around Murdoc's waist as a little whine left his throat as he felt his bassist beginning to mark his neck more than he already had.

2D's arms had slipped away from Murdoc's body and fell down at his sides as the man's hands had become to roam downward, not wanting them to be in the way of anything.

Stu's heart had begun to pick up its pace and he could feel his body beginning to react to both Murdoc's touch and the situation itself.  Stuart had bitten his lip and his breath hitched as Murdoc brought his hand to tease his nipple and raised his eyes to meet the Satanist's moments later.  Soon he was smiling around that bitten lip.

Murdoc was loving to discover his body. His way. Where to touch and how to. Even knowing his singer for many years it was still something unknown to him.

He smiled back when their eyes met. He never admitted, but he loved when he could make his singer smile. He hoped Stuart started and finished the sex with that adorable smile plastered on his face.

Murdoc began going down, kissing his chest, his stomach, waist, licking inside his bellybutton. Even really thin, he had some muscles Murdoc couldn’t help but admire.

He stopped at his hips, kissing both hipbones, giving Stuart full attention. He reopened his belt and trousers, pulling out his now erect cock. Looking at his face after that as he asked for permission. He would give him the best blowjob he could... in the end his tongue was made for that, and he wanted 2D fully satisfied screaming his name. 

In a last romantic movement, he looked for his hand grabbing it and interlacing their fingers. Murdoc knew how to be slow and gentle when he wanted.

2D, thankfully, was quite easy to read in his responses so Murdoc wouldn't have much trouble at all at figuring out what he liked.  2D's smile had remained as he watched the man sink lower down the front of his body. 

The touch of Murdoc's lips and tongue felt almost like a tease considering what he seemed to be working up to and Stuart released a little whine when he felt the bassist undoing the front of his jeans. When he stuck his tongue inside his bellybutton, he couldn’t help but giggle at that. It felt oddly good.

2D gave a little nod to signal that he was fine with what was happening.  The bluenette tilted his head back against the wall and allowed his eyes to fall shut.  When Murdoc found 2D's hand the boy was quick to squeeze it in return once their fingers had been interlaced.

Seeing Stuart that receptive made his weak heart melt. He felt so comfortable doing that. And of course loved the way he giggled with that little. Was he just drunk and laughing with anything or he really enjoyed it?

Murdoc licked his lips, not breaking his eyes away from Stuart’s member.

He didn’t waste anymore of their time by waiting, and took Stu’s tip into his mouth and rolled his abnormally tongue over it thoroughly.

Murdoc was hungry for more than that. He was practically starving for Stuart's body... as he didn’t have it before. The Satanist slowly slid his mouth down 2D’s shaft, sucking gently yet gradually giving him a rougher and more careless blowjob as the minutes went by.

After sucking for a good few minutes. He quickly grabbed ahold of Stuart’s cock and lifted it slightly, then hung his tongue out of his mouth and slowly licked it from bottom to top. He was enjoying every second of it.

His hand didn't let the singer's in any minute. He loved how his skin was soft and how he was warm. That connection he said before was really present that time.

2D gasped as he felt Murdoc's mouth engulf him and that damned tongue of his went to work. The bluenette's hand gripped tighter to Murdoc's and he couldn't help but moan openly at the sensation.  Murdoc definitely knew what he was doing. 

As things had progressed and he'd become slightly more intense than how he'd started Stu whimpered his name and bent forward slightly at the waist, his head bowing as he panted heavily through his open mouth.

2D's free hand had come to rest upon Murdoc's hair, gently running his fingers through it but not forcing movement or anything of that sort.  It was a soft, appreciative gesture instead of anything dominant.  As Murdoc drew his mouth off of him and caressed his length with his tongue Stu shuddered.

"Ha... Ahh..  Murdoc...  Please don't stop," 2D whispered, tongue flicking out over lips that felt dry thanks to how heavily he'd been breathing through them.

Murdoc didn't have to be told twice. He began bobbing his head loving the way his singer was red and not breathing correctly. With a loud pop letting him go he said "You moan just like you sing Stuart.... Like an angel..." and went rougher in order to make him come, working with his mouth and stroking him in a steady pace. The bassist could manage to say sweet words and be naughty when he wanted.

   He had something about the way Stuart stroked his hair... he was so gentle compared to the people the Satanist usually would bring to bed, it felt wonderful. He felt loved that way. Cared even. His hook ups would force him all the way down.

Feeling safer he decided to deep throat the singer. He swallowed everything he could till his tip reach his throat and his nose his blue pubes he found so beautiful to see. His free hand softly squeezed his thigh while doing that.

When he couldn't handle his gag reflex anymore he took Stuart's off his mouth a trail of saliva connecting the Satanists mouth to his cock. He smiled lolling his long tongue outta his mouth and looking at the singer.

2D giggled in a giddy fashion when the man had pulled away to comment on the noises he was making.  Further color flushed his cheeks and not knowing what else to do in the moment he could only think to mumble a half-there, "Thank you," in response.

The bluenette was quite receptive to the treatment he was being afforded so he had no intention of being rough or whatever with Murdoc.  Not this time, at least.  The last thing he wanted to do was spoil this moment by trying to 'take control' at all at this point.  Stuart was sure there would be other times to try and exercise control but right now he was content to play passive.

Stuart's breath hitched as he felt Murdoc take him in completely and half-lidded eyes watched in near wonder as he watched his lover fellate him.  When he pulled away that time Stuart wasn't sure he could take much longer at all and he wanted something more substantial.  He supposed he could dare to make a request though he was somewhat careful to phrase it in a way that didn't sound demanding.

"Murdoc..  I wanna cum with you inside me."  The vocalist's face burned red after he'd managed to voice that, expression hopeful.

Murdoc couldn't help but continue smiling. Was all he could have asked for. "Of course I can do it Stu..." he really thought Stuart would much prefer that he finished his blowjob. But his idea in such a gentle tone of voice sounded way better. Way cozier... more intimate.

He found the lube once he had thrown away laying somewhere under the blankets. "Want to choose a position too?" He was really kind that hour, loving his dullard singer asking what he wanted and not demanding like in the beginning he did.

He had his preferences, Murdoc had already fantasized more than once doing that, but he didn't know if Stuart didn't get laid in a while with a bloke. He didn't want to hurt him so he asked standing up and beginning to strip in front of 2D. He had a boner that could easily cut diamonds at this point , just with his noises and moans. Stuart didn't know how much power he had toward the Satanist.

2D smiled toothily toward the older man when he had agreed without hesitation to move along with his suggestion. He could feel his pulse quicken as he realized just what was about to happen.  He was about to sleep with his bassist and, surprisingly, he was fine with it.  Maybe he wasn't thinking of all the finer strings attached but that was all shit to be dealt with later.  What was happening right now was much more enticing.

When the offer of being the one to choose the position of their session as well was made Stu blinked a few times and after a moment of running through his catalogue of past masturbatory fantasies involving the Satanist (none of which he'd likely ever have the balls to mention) he'd come to his decision.

"I'll ride you." he announced, smiling sweetly and surprisingly innocently despite of his state of undress and arousal and what he'd just said.  The boy's eyes had immediately flit to Murdoc's cock when it was revealed and they widened just slightly before he looked back up toward the older man's face.  "Be, er, gentle, all right?"

Stu wasn't a stranger to sleeping with blokes in the past but it had been a good while since he'd had any of that sort of play.  Gentle was obviously the best way to do things then.

"I thought you wanted me to ride you, twat..." the bassist chuckled while lubbing himself and laying down on some pillows so he was half sitting. The way his singer spoke he sounded so sure he wouldn't chose a better position, maybe another time. But his eyes told him he had already thought about any positions with him. This made the bassist smirk.

"I want you to use me to fuck you, luv... actually you can chose how you want to ride me... gentle or not... _you're in control_..." he told him with a wink "Just don't get used to it huh?" He poked his nose playfully.

Murdoc noticed the way his eyes widened... maybe the singer found him big. Was a good stroke for his ego. The way he innocently smiled made the Satanists cock throb. He was too damn cute even when about to be fucked. Once laying down he tapped his thighs... "All yours Stu, like what you see~..?" He teased a bit smirking and stroking himself, drooling in expectation.

2D was surprised but pleasantly so when the bassist had given him 'control' of the situation after joking with him a little.  "We'll save that for next time, hmm?  I'll wear you out." he teased, clicking his tongue and throwing a wink for good measure.

The singer's eyes had dipped down toward Murdoc's now lubed member as the man stroked it and he gave a dull-headed sort of nod in response, obviously distracted.  Whatever his exact opinion on Murdoc's cock, it was most certainly a pleasant one.  "..Definitely" he managed after breaking out of his little staring stupor.  "I mean, I've seen you naked before but..  Not like this, I suppose," he said, giggling almost nervously before he approached the bed and the other man on it.

Soon the boy had crept up onto the bed and threw one of his legs over Murdoc's body so that he could straddle him.  He reached back behind him and brushed Murdoc's hand aside so he could hold him himself.  Keeping the older man's cock steady, he slowly rocked back, aligning his tip with his hole.  A slow breath was taken before he began to lower himself, going at his own painfully slow pace until his arse was flush with the older man's thighs.  Stu's breath was shaky then and his lower lip had vanished behind his upper teeth as he bit down on it.

"Yeah... I've already seen you naked too... many times while you were in coma..." he looked at him "This way is much better..." he smirked.

When Stuart started going down Murdoc couldn’t help but close his eyes and let out a low growl. Gripping the blankets. He felt so tight.. Just the way Murdoc always fantasized. His hands rested on his hips when Stu finished not making him go down faster or anything. He enjoyed each minute of it waiting him to get used to the new invasion.

The way he did it without fear or hesitation made Murdoc's heart beat faster. He didn’t whimper or cry... was silent, and there the bassist could see how he missed his voice... he needed to hear his moans again. His name was so beautiful when Stuart spoke full of lust.

When he opened his eyes and the vision was just stunning... Stuart hard as rock, blushing, biting his lip, sitting on his cock ready to ride, his unsteady breath sounded like music to his ears. "Gorgeous..." the word escaped his lips before he could hold it back. He looked into his eyes, feeling small in front of so much beauty. His mouth went dry, hanging half open and he licked his lips, craving for a touch, a kiss, anything from his bluebird.

The mention of Stuart's ex-vegetable state in that context had cocked a brow but the boy didn't seem to connect anything untoward do it.  The poor bastard would've been stuck washing him and all that thanks to that lovely bit of community service time he'd scored himself.  Thank goodness he'd stuck to that because if not it was unlikely they'd ever have been together to reach the moment they were at right then.

Stu's lack of noise had been easily explained by the fact that he'd been unwittingly holding his breath but now that he was breathing (somewhat) normally again he finally let his voice creep out in a quiet sort of whine as he shifted his hips from side to side a little bit.  Murdoc was certainly a snug fit and even those little movements then had created pleasant sensations inside of him.

The word that Murdoc had said had brought red to Stuart's face once again and his hands had come up to cover it, an entirely demure pose despite the situation it was being performed in.  The singer smiled broadly down toward the man beneath him and then placed his hands upon the Satanist's chest, bracing the weight of his upper body as he began to lift his hips only to lower them just as slowly as he had come down the first time, obviously still adjusting a bit before he'd move properly.  "F..Fuck, you feel so big.."

 

 

The compliment hit Murdoc right on his crotch and he moaned lowly grabbing the singer's arms and softly scratching them. "And you're so tight Stu..." he moaned again once the singer went down "Fuck..." he wouldn't last long that way everything about 2D was so exciting... His voice, his red face, his skin, his damned smile. Murdoc closed his eyes and let his head fall against the pillows, his mouth half opened and almost drooling "Please move..." he whispered, his arms falling limp on the sides of his body "Ride me, Bluebird..."

The red on 2D's face had remained after that returned compliment.  Although he was sure he would he was quite happy that Murdoc enjoyed the feel of being inside of him.  He already didn't want this to be a one-time affair.  Not by a long shut.

As the bassist's arms drew away from his own and he pleaded for him to move the singer smirked a little bit and then rocked back, seating himself on Murdoc's lap and holding still for a few seconds, squeezing down on his cock just to be a tease.  He didn't 'torture' him like that for too long, though, and soon enough the bluenette had picked up a fairly good pace, dropping his hips down with enough force to produce a soft clap when their bodies made contact.

Stuart was moaning freely again then, nails digging into Murdoc's chest a little where his hands were settled.  The bluenette was panting heavily and his eyes remained half-lidded in pleasure.  By the looks of it and the way his body trembled, it wasn't going to take him terribly long to finally reach his climax.

Murdoc moaned and cursed under his breath. Stuart felt amazing on the top of him. "Fuck... Stuart... I'm close..." he warned after some movements. The singer felt like a professional doing that. He smirked opening his eyes to look at him moving. He wish his eyes could take pictures now, it was wonderful.

 One of his hands reached his face caressing it, his thumb going into his mouth wanting him to suck it "Sing for me Bluebird..." he told him needing to hear more of his moans, feeling his own orgasm close. His other hand held on of the singer's on his chest. He would began stroking him, but Murdoc really wanted Stuart to come without being touched.

2D grinned when Murdoc had warned him that he was close.  He was happy to hear that he was doing something for Murdoc as well as the fact that he could feel himself getting quite close to going over the edge himself.

When Murdoc's hand raised and touched 2D's face the boy nuzzled his cheek into the affection and when his thumb was pushed past his lips he sealed them around it and sucked, tongue sweeping over the pad of his digit.  Stuart's eyes closed and he focused on the pleasure so close to taking him over.

2D moaned and groaned quite audibly around the thumb in his mouth as the request had been made for his voice to be heard, certainly verging on both feminine and pornographic.  Unlike sound for the sake of show, though, his noises had all been legitimate despite how overdone it may have sounded. 

Soon his voice peaked and his body locked.  One last slam down of his hips and it was game over for the vocalist.  Eyes rolled back and closed and he whimpered as he came, painting Murdoc's abdomen and chest and a bit of his own hands with spots of white.

Murdoc loved the way his tongue felt around his thumb. So warm and wet. He thought he just needed that to cum, and he was right. When Stuart began sucking that was it... he had come even before the singer with a loud animalistic growl.

His hands quickly went to his hips squeezing them and leaving marks there, pressing him down and locking their bodies together as he wanted to cum really inside 2D, hitting hard his prostate. The words "I love you" almost escaped his lips as the pleasure took him over. Murdoc even lifted his body a bit when he came, getting closer 2D and sitting with him still in his lap.

 

 

2D had found himself accidentally biting down on Murdoc's thumb though at least it wasn't terribly hard.  The contact was broken quickly as he gasped aloud at the sensation of being pulled down onto Murdoc and the pulsing of the man's cock inside of him as he came.  The feeling was absolutely intoxicating and he found himself strangely pleased that the bassist hadn't bothered to pull out.

Once both of them had come down Stu brought his arms swiftly around Murdoc's body and held himself flush against him.  He was trembling softly and whispering a quiet mantra of, "So good..."

Murdoc wrapped his arms again around his singer "Sweet Satan that was amazing..." he mumbled against his skinny body, eyes closed and his own limbs shaking in the afterglow. He nuzzled his face on his chest purring in satisfaction. He hoped he had showed the singer how much he missed him.

Murdoc just stood there for some more time unsure of what to do next. It felt so good inside Stuart even after cumming. That embrace felt so warm... he never felt that comfortable or safe with anyone in sex before. He just hoped it meant something to Stuart as much as it meant to him. Slowly his emotions began overwhelming him again.

That was normally the time he would dump the person or tell her/him to leave without hesitation. He couldn't do it with his singer and he knew that pretty well. That was something different and a bit scary for him. But for now all that mattered was the two of them into his bedroom after 8 months apart.

2D dropped his chin gently to the top of Murdoc's head as the older man rubbed his cheek against his chest.  His arms loosened just a little bit, the embrace now snug and cozy rather than clingy.  The act between them had spoken volumes to the singer about just how much Murdoc had missed him.  Those eight months had prompted a shag that was well overdue for twenty damn years.

The boy dipped his chin and gently kissed the crown of Murdoc's head before leaning back a bit so that he could look down into the other man's eyes.  There was a warm smile upon 2D's lips as he looked at him but his eyes didn't convey the same happiness in the moment.

There was a feeling of uncertainty then.  Stuart, after all, knew what happened to Murdoc's lovers after the fact.  There wasn't anything in the way of cuddling or pillow talk, just an instruction to kick rocks.  Hesitant, Stu half-joked, "..This is the part where you boot me out, yeah?"

Those words broke the Satanist's heart. He felt his eyes watering in such an inconvenient moment. He shook his head. "No..." he mumbled looking at him and swallowing hard. "Don't... ever leave." He felt despair taking him over just to imagine Stuart walking away.

"I know I'm no good Stu but... stay... don't go..." he sounded a bit more desperate then he should. If there was anyone that should be begging for Stuart to stay after everything he had done was Murdoc.

He stared into his void eyes that didn't show much happened. It worried Murdoc for some more seconds. "No one... understands me.... the way you do..." and before he could stop the tears he was holding back fell. His mouth hanged half opened as he was trying to say something but not able to due to a huge lump on his throat.

God he felt so stupid. So weak... but that was the effect Stuart had over him. He made Murdoc Niccals cry. For the first time in years, cuz he was terrified of losing Stuart and now he finally realized that.

Stuart was legitimately surprised when Murdoc had not only told him not to go but was damn near begging him to stay. Well.  That was a pleasant surprise.  To Stuart it had almost sounded like Murdoc wanted him to stay for more than just friendship-level reasons but he was also hesitant to entertain the thought.  How disappointed would he be if he was wrong?  Couldn't risk it.

As Murdoc had begun to cry Stu's eyes widened and he reached up immediately to cradle his head in his hands, thumbs sweeping over his cheekbones to interrupt the stream of tears.  "Hey, hey, hey...  What's all this now?  No crying, please." 2D cooed, aiming to soothe the older man.  His heart ached for Murdoc in more than one way at that moment.

"I'm not going anywhere, Muds.  Calm down."  The singer leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead, parting the man's bangs with his nose in the process only to let them fall back into place as he drew back.  "I'm here."

Murdoc closed his eyes with that kiss. It kept him grounded. He wanted to speak but all that went out was a gross sob. 

After so many years of people walking away and turning his back on himself because he was obnoxious, having people like Noodle, Russel and in a bigger degree, Stuart still in his life and insisting was something he, however much he didn't want to admit had fear to lose. But his singer was back. And that made Murdoc immensely happy, in a way that kept him from controlling himself. Beyond tears of fear, they were of relief and happiness. That he held every month inside the prison.

He mumbled " ‘Msorry..." those last words broke something inside him. He was there, for real this time. He bowed his head and pressed his face it into his chest forcing himself to calm down and failing. He hugged Stuart tighter letting out a shaky breath. "You're here..." he told more to himself than to Stuart as he needed to be sure he was there.

He stood after everything and .. it meant the world for Murdoc.

2D felt for Murdoc as he'd sobbed like that.  He'd seen the man break down a couple times in the past but it had been a good while and he wished that he could take whatever pain was making him cry away.  Or maybe they were tears of happiness?  Stuart certainly hoped they were. The last break downs weren’t that, intimate after all.

The apology further warmed the boy's heart and he shook his head slowly.  "Shh, shhh..  Nothin' t'be sorry about, luv." he assured further, pressing another soft kiss to his forehead before Murdoc had dipped his head down against his chest.  Stu wrapped his arms tighter around him then, resting his cheek down against the top of the Satanist's head.

"It's all okay, Murdoc.  We're okay, luv." he whispered before deciding to try to lighten the mood a little bit.  He leaned back and gently tipped Murdoc's head up on top of his fingers, smiling at him.  "You'll have to show me the technique that net you so many groupies next time, huh?"

Murdoc was slowly calming down. His emotions going back into place again. He smiled once Stuart called him “luv”. It felt so... warm. He chuckled "Fuck the groupies... I want you." The words once again slipping his mouth. "But I can tell you it's definitely not crying that net them...." he sniffled giggling.

He looked into his eyes again, much calmer now after Stuart's reassurance. His voice always made him calmer, much more when he sung. His mismatched eyes shone with tears and he felt the urge to say those 3 words again due to his patience with a crying baby old bastard like him.

The Satanist rested his chin against his chest and smiled forgetting momentarily that he was still into him.

Stu snickered before seeming to realize the man had been serious.  "You mean, like..  Exclusively?"  Stuart wasn't against such an idea but he wasn't quite sure if Murdoc would find him boring after a while after being used to such variety for the span of his sexually active years.

"And yeah, not your prettiest look," 2D ribbed gently, reaching up to brush the Satanist's eyes again to sweep some of the newer tears away.  "But really, stop crying or else you're gonna make me cry and that's no bloody good is it?"  Stu was teasing but his voice had cracked a little as if to prove his words were actually true.

For the moment Stuart was just content to remain with him like this, not really minding at all that the bassist hadn't pulled out of him yet.  There was a deeper level of closeness provided by the connection so he was fine if it hadn't yet been broken.

Murdoc thought for a second. Did he mean that? "Yeah, I mean exclusively." He said firmly. "The question is if you want to be with an old sod like me..." he chuckled but his voice sounded broken. For Murdoc he didn't deserve 2D.

 For a moment the thought of another person with Stuart sent him a wave of nausea and again, fear. He fought so much to have him that giving up now just ‘cuz of sex didn't make much sense anymore. He felt his heart beat in a different way that time when he was with 2D. When he was desperate to bring him back. Something told him that he should stay with just him and the voice that spoke into his head telling him he didn't deserve anything, seemed to fade when Stuart was close.

Murdoc shook his head after the singer wiped his tears. "I had already made you cry today, Stu and I barely reached home..." he remembered his mistake after telling him he would change. "I wouldn't do it twice..." he really regretted pushing that far... but he needed to bring 2D back anyway. He looked at him still a bit sad, remembering his crying face and his words when he was in his lap.

2D was surprised just how adamant Murdoc had sounded when he said that he did want to be some sort of a item with Stuart.  The idea that he'd accept or even want such a thing was still blowing Stuart's mind a bit, even further than them sleeping with one another.  Sex was one thing but a relationship was a different thing entirely.  Or was Stuart assuming too much in the term?  Could well be the case considering Murdoc's usual avoidance of anything past a quick shag with anyone.

His train of thought was interrupted when Murdoc had apologized yet again and he gave a slow shake of his head.  "Don't...  There's nothing to be sorry about.  You know me, always crying about summink," he joked, offering a little smile.  Hopefully that would lighten the situation a little bit.

"But...  Before I go making an arse of myself or anything like that...  When you say 'exclusive' do you...  Mean that we only sleep with each other just cos or cos you actually wanna be with me.  Like, y'know, a relationship?"

Murdoc smiled and managed to lay down the singer next to him so they could talk in a more comfy position. He pulled out him, not wanting to admit his legs were already cramped. He threw the blanket over both bodies, and a pillow under the singer's head trying to show he wanted Stuart to stay even after sex, talk about that and sleep together. Stuart’s company when he wasn’t a cocky asshole was really good and he needed that now.

"I ask you. What would make you happy, staying with me exclusively for sex or... a relationship?" He asked caressing his blue locks looking into his void eyes. Murdoc had never been into a relationship before... so he thought maybe Stuart could have a better idea as he had already been. Besides he wanted to show him he cared about his feelings more than his own, as Murdoc didn't figure out what he really felt about Stuart. Not yet.

2D had made a small noise when Murdoc had pulled out of him, shuddering at the sensation.  He slipped easily to lie beside him, figuring he'd just bother to shower tomorrow.  When he was given a pillow and the blanket was pulled over him he seemed mildly entertained.  Murdoc really wanted him to stay that badly.  How lovely.  The boy soon nestled his head into the pillow and looked to Murdoc.

As much as Murdoc was aware of the fact that Murdoc had never been in a proper relationship, Stu was as well.  Therefore, when the question was posed he was understandably a little hesitant.  His feelings were high at the moment but was a relationship even going to work?  Stu wasn't certain and it frightened him a little bit.

"I..  Think maybe we should do the old 'friends with benefits' thing for a while?  Everything's moved a bit fast already, innit?"  Easing into this sort of thing slowly seemed the best plan of action.

Murdoc nodded seeing his point of view. He needed time to figure out everything he felt towards the singer. And Stu was drunk... he thought that could be clouding his judgment.

"That's fine for me if it is for you..." Commitments sounded really serious and scary for him. "As long as I can have you..." he smiled. It was kinda easier not having to tell everybody.

"Even fast I .... liked that." he confessed while his eyes began looking his blue hair, running his fingers gently over the strands, untangling them. They were glued to his forehead by sweat, which made him even more beautiful. Murdoc got lost for a while doing that. Curious about what Stuart was thinking or feeling.

2D breathed a small sigh of relief when Murdoc had accepted his terms.  It seemed the safest route through this mess.  This beautiful mess.  "You can have me however you like," the boy joked, snickering away afterward in a fashion that suggested he was much too entertained by his own joke.  Obviously, still a bit drunk.

"I liked it too," Stu admitted without hesitation.  "And, er, thanks for letting me take the lead."  A bit of color had crossed 2D's cheeks then and as Murdoc began to run his fingers through his damp hair to untangle it the bluenette closed his eyes comfortably.  He felt strangely safe at the moment, even if he was lying the beside the man that was usually the least safe for him to be around.

The placid moment was only broken when 2D yawned, tilting his head back and squeezing his eyes shut.  Upon exhaling, he opened them and looked sheepishly toward the bassist.  "Tired now though."

"You're welcome... you were amazing Stu... I couldn’t have asked for a better welcome home..." He laughed a bit after hearing his drunk laugh.

Murdoc yawned as well when a question crossed his mind. Something that Stuart would have asked him if he was in his place. Murdoc was sober, Stuart no. "Will... will you remember this in the morning, 2D?" Murdoc knew he would, when he was drunk he most likely forget everything. he was afraid the singer was this way too. He sounded a bit more desperate than he should, even his hand stopped caressing his hair for a moment.

Stu beamed at Murdoc when he spoke but the expression had turned to one of curious concern as Murdoc had asked whether or not Stuart was going to remember all of this in the morning.  "Mm..  I'm gonna say some finer details will definitely be lost but if waking up in your bed doesn't remind me the mess you made of my arse will, mate."  D was laughing again then, grinning like the fool he was.

"So no worries, okay?  I'm not gonna forget what we've done, Murdoc.  How could I?"

"Alcohol, mate. It sometimes reset my system for certain things..." He confessed. The truth was, now he was happy, feeling safe and all... once he wasn’t anymore maybe those white eyes could come back... and that was something Murdoc wasn’t ready for really. 

Sometimes the Satanist’s arse reminded him pretty well of what he had done in the previous night’s even if his lovers were already gone. He smiled to him, his tone of voice made him safer. His hand went back to where it was before.

2D nodded his head in an understanding fashion when Murdoc had explained the reason for his worry.  "Happens t'me too, but not about summink this important, yeah?" First times for anything were usually things remembered in detail and this evening was definitely getting stored away in Stu's head.

As if perhaps 2D could read Murdoc's mind (or maybe just his face) the singer bit his lip for a moment before he closed the distance between the two of them.  He raised a hand to place it upon Murdoc's cheek as he leaned in and captured the bassist's lips with his own.  The boy lingered there for a good few seconds before he drew back slowly, rosy cheeked and smiling big.

Murdoc's brows rose. He wasn’t expecting such a tender action coming from Stuart now. He loved the kiss, it was something to seal the night they had. After he broke it Murdoc leaned closer and kissed his forehead as a thank you. The singer looked so adorable blushing that way Murdoc couldn’t help but smile.

 "I..I.." he held his tongue to say what he felt " _Dullard_.." he did the same as the singer before, same fond tone he used, leaning closer to feel 2D 's whole body against his. His hand pulled him close by his hip. God Stuart was so light weighted.

When drunk 2D could be affectionate to a fault.  This had been proven by the kiss he'd given and further so by the way he playfully rubbed his nose against the bassist's.  His brows perked a little in interest when the older man began to say something but when it ended in an 'insult' instead Stu couldn't help but laugh.

As Murdoc drew him in, he snuggled in against the Satanist, tucking his head beneath the other man's chin.  " _Bastard._ " he replied with an overly fond smile.  The message that neither of them could say was at least understood and he'd responded in kind.

Stuart sighed softly and allowed his eyes to close slowly.  He was worn out from his earlier adrenaline, the sex, and the effects of the alcohol and soon enough he'd fallen asleep beside Murdoc.

Murdoc liked the way he just answered him. It sounded like a code they both had to tell each other how they felt. He enjoyed pretty much the way he was under him, and placed his head comfortably on his chest, holding his skinny body. "Night Bluebird." He said in a whisper closing his eyes and indulging in the arms of Morpheus for a calm sleep he hadn't had in any night in prison.


	3. Talking

2D had slept soundly throughout the night, the warmth of Murdoc's body providing further comfort and lulling him into a less fitful rest than he usually had.  He woke up and blinked slowly a few times before picking his head up off of Murdoc's chest.  He reached up to wipe the drool from the side of his face and then surreptitiously used the blanket very gently to dab the liquid from Murdoc's chest.

There was a dull ache in his head and his arse but it was far from unbearable.  Still not too great to wake up to.  Oh well, he was the one that decided to do the things that had gotten him to this state.  The boy looked down toward Murdoc to see whether he was sleeping or not still.

Murdoc slept quite well, but soon as the day came he began having a nightmare. He wasn’t breathing steadily and was trembling a bit, sweating. When Stuart left his chest he woke up in a start, panting. His hand grabbed the blankets under him and he had to blink twice to understand what was happening in his surroundings. The first thing he saw was Stuart and there he knew he wasn’t in jail anymore. For some moments he thought it was just a dream after so much time arrested.

The moment Stuart saw that Murdoc wasn't sleeping well at all he winced.  But what in the world could he do?  Waking him suddenly could have disastrous results and...

Stu jumped when Murdoc had woken and grabbed the blanket but after a quick recovery he leaned over him, gently placing a hand on his chest.  "Mu’doc.  Mu’doc, are you awright?"  Stu's hand slipped up and cupped the side of his face, thumb running back and forth gently over his cheekbone.  "You were just having a nightmare."

Murdoc took a deep breath calming down "Sorry.." he would have to get used to the fact he was back home. "I'm fine I guess.." he looked at him "I didn’t hit you did I?" he asked concerned and leaning into his touch his hand going over the singer's

2D shook his head gently.  "No need.  Prison really did a number on you again, huh?"  As much as Murdoc claimed he didn't mind a stint in the slammer, nobody really was well-equipped to deal with that situation once they were in it.

"Nope. You haven't laid a finger on me," he assured him, shifting his hand to run his fingers up through the Satanist's hair.  "I'm gonna go take a shower, okay?"

Murdoc nodded still a bit scared. Everything he dreamed felt so real for a moment he believed he was back into that hell hole "I think so... go there Stu.. er.. I’ll be fine..." he said not really thinking. He laid his head against the pillows and closed his eyes.

2D still looked down at Murdoc with a concerned expression for a few seconds before he nodded his head.  "Okay.  Er...  See you soon?"  2D offered an awkward smile before he pushed himself up and out of bed.  Despite his somewhat messy condition he stood up and walked to the bathroom after one look back at Murdoc. His shirt was destroyed so he would have to grab another.

Stu shut the door behind himself and quickly turned on the tap letting his fingers sit under it until he found a comfortable temperature.  He pulled the shower knob and then stepped in under the stream, sighing comfortably.  The heat was soothing.

Murdoc took some moments to put himself together. He didn't remember quite well what was the dream like. But thankfully it was just a nightmare.

He slowly stood up and looked around for his clothes. The singer’s were easy to be found, laying on the floor the shirt now buttonless. He laughed at that, shouldn’t have been that aggressive. While Stuart had his shower, he dressed himself again. Looking into the wardrobe he found everything in place and clean… The Satanist found that odd but didn’t complain. Soon Murdoc dressed himself to wait for his singer.

While in the bathroom Stuart was quick to finish it. He shrugged his shoulders turning the shower off then dipped his head before fluffing his hair with the towel to dry it.  When he stood it jutted out a bit more wildly than usual, naturally spiked a bit from the water. He toweled himself off and then wrapped the fabric around his waist before stepping out of the tub and onto the tiles.

Soon Stuart was outta the bathroom. Murdoc couldn’t help but smile finding cute the way his hair was after drying. “Hey…” He mumbled.

“Hey.. you better?” Murdoc nodded. “Good…” Stuart leaned closer him, Murdoc stood up.

"I was thinking… things can change...huh?" Murdoc said absentmindedly. "Last night showed that" he smiled.

"Definitely.  God, things do feel different now, don't they?" He agreed smiling back. Was everything so surreal he barely could believe.

"Yes they are Stu... I said I'd change didn't I? Would be difficult I know but.. I wanna try." The Satanist shrugged. He had already been through some difficult times in life, changing for better wouldn’t be that hard. "I slept with my best mate... now mate with benefits... and it was fucking good!" He chuckled "That's a huge change... a good one after all the trouble I made everyone go into with my shit..." he said a bit sad.

When Murdoc spoke again of wishing to change Stu smiled but it was strangely melancholy, he had promised that in the previous night, now he could guess he wasn’t lying.  "Just don't go changing so much that you change who you are, 'kay?"  He had some nerve to say such a thing considering how he'd been acting, though.

"Damn right it was.  And...  Y'know, when you say it that way I'm wondering if you deserved a reward like that," he teased. 

"What you mean by changing who I am Stu...?" Murdoc frowned a bit. He wouldn't lose him essence but he thought that Stuart didn't like his violent and full of rage self. He knew he had some good points when it came to treating his singer but he didn't really knew what were them. "What you want me not to change then...?" He asked again, curious.

"Oh so I didn't deserve...? Sorry I'm looking forward for the next time already..." he confessed. He knew that friends with benefits came to sex... so other things regular couples do they wouldn't be able to. "I did that wrong, you treated me like an asshole when I came home... guess we're both into mistake, Stu..." he shrugged.

Stu shook his head slowly, shrugging. "I dunno what I'm on about honestly.. Heh..."  He smiled ashamed "Just don't lose your edge, huh?  I'm a bit attracted to danger," he admitted, grinning.

When Murdoc brought up the way Stu had 'greeted' him the bluenette frowned and bowed his head in a slightly ashamed fashion.  "I'm sorry about that, mate...  I didn't mean to be that offensive.."

"Danger huh?" Murdoc could understand this in lots of ways. "Naah mate... it's okay really..." he leaned closer him kissing his lips quickly. "I was just... afraid that I wouldn't be able to bring your old self back... the one I .." well his phrase trailed off afraid he would say too much and he walked past the singer looking down and going to the bathroom take a look at the  mirror.

2D nodded slowly in response to the Satanist's questioning.  "I dunno what it is, really, but I like you just the way you are, Murdoc.  I mean, a little less fists to the head'd be lovely but..  Y'know?" he murmured, shrugging lamely. Murdoc had already gotten a bit better about his abusive ways before he was locked up but it still happened on occasion.  2D was still standing, though, and obviously, it didn't bother him too much if he was pursuing some sort of odd relationship with the older man.

The kiss had 2D smiling dopily but Murdoc's next words had lessened it a little bit.  "I'm..  I'm still sorry about that," he said, biting his lip as Murdoc passed him.

Stu was quick to follow, following close enough to Murdoc that he may as well have been a shadow.  "If..  If this is what makes you happy, this is how I'll be for you," 2D assured, hoping his words might make the Satanist feel slightly better.

Hearing that Stuart liked the way he was, made his day. He turned around to face him smiling "Don't worry I won't change myself that much... and no punches anymore right...? there's no reason for that." He would punch Stuart only if he came back to that scary white eyes version of him.

He loved the way he followed him. He didn't mean to run away but he was about to tell the singer his old self was the one who he fell in love with and Murdoc didn't know if this was entirely true.

After looking himself in the mirror and combing his hair with his fingers, he wrapped his arms around his waist, Stuart still with nothing but a towel. "Just be who you are Stu... I really like the person you are... always have. And I’ll treat you better to show you that..."

Even if sometimes Murdoc acted like he hated Stuart it was all to hide his feelings towards him he didn't know how to deal with. He kissed his forehead tiptoeing for that. He wanted to tell him the he wanted the singer to be "his" but he thought it was a bit too much as they weren't in a relationship yet. Just "friends with benefits"

2D flashed a relieved smile when the man assured him there wouldn't be too much of a change.  Just like it bothered Murdoc to see 2D acting differently it would likely be the same for Stuart if the show was on the other foot.  The question was met with a little bit of a nod.  "Right.  Unless I ask for it," he said with a laugh. Hard to say whether he meant actually asking or acting enough of an idiot to deserve it was up to interpretation.

"Sounds good, Muds," Stuart chirped in response before he leaned into the kiss to his forehead that he received.  "I appreciate you wanting to make an effort, 2D said with a relaxed smile before he leaned in to return the peck to Murdoc's forehead before he'd broken into a fit of giggles.

"Christ, look at us.  We're acting like boyfriends, aren't we?"  ‘D was still laughing then.

 

 

Murdoc blushed a little when he said “boyfriends” finding his laugh absolutely adorable and not annoying like some time ago he would.

 "Well... I wouldn't mind if we were... I mean if I was dating you... fans are already talking about how... soft I treated you when I reached home... the things I brought you... they were expecting punches and a fight between us and..  Well look at us now..." He giggled a bit nervously.

It was strange having Stuart that close but he didn't mind. The lad never did anything to hurt him... so it was kinda normal for Murdoc be well treated by 2D. No vice versa unfortunately. "Guess you'd be a good boyfriend... I mean... not exactly to me but in general..." He stopped speaking "Sorry I'm not good at this..." hugging his best mate into anything but a towel was really different for Murdoc.

2D was surprised to see that blush on Murdoc's face but it made him beam.  He found it rather adorable and of course, he could figure out that what he'd said had prompted it.  When he went on to speak though his eyes widened and he bit his lower lip for a few seconds. Hesitation rose up once again, though he wasn't quite sure why.  Maybe if he tried talking about it in his answer he could make some sense of things.

He looped his arms around Murdoc's waist when he'd been hugged and then spoke.  "I'd...  I'd like that but I guess I'm scared. I..  Well, usually the relationships I'm in don't last very long, y'know?  I wouldn't want to rush into things and then regret it a week later..."  Probably not what Murdoc wanted to hear but honesty was the best policy, wasn’t it?

"Stu... "our" friendship lasted for more years than it should after everything I've done to you and...your relationships only ended ‘cuz I ruined them y'know? I stole your girlfriends, made them break up with you and..." oh, one more thing he confessed.

"Well they didn't actually know you since you were a 19 years old comatose lad. So they wouldn't have the patience for you, you know?." He laughed knowing some tiny details about the singer Stuart mustn't know about himself that the birds much likely found odd and unattractive but Murdoc didn’t mind, like the fact he didn’t know how to tie his shoelaces.

"I don't want to rush either... but we already live together so... begin dating is just a detail y'know? We do all sorts of things together already...." He tried to explain the best he could.

2D gave a little nod of his head.  Murdoc had a point, after all.  He had been the reason that most (if not all) of his girlfriends had left eventually.  The first one he'd fucked up had been dismissed by Stuart but it was rare that the bluenette broke up with people.  He loved too much and too hard to give up on such things, Murdoc being a prime example.

"..Guess you've got a point," he mumbled, the corners of his lips dipping in a small frown.  His thoughts were scattered away from unfortunate facts of his past when Murdoc explained things and soon enough the boy had nodded in apparent understanding.

"You're right," he agreed, "Plus, like, why do we have to put a title on us anyway?  We are who we are, mm?"

"We always been..." He liked the way the singer agreed with him that fast. "You're my singer my best mate.. and will still be right?" Murdoc didn't care about labels. What he was scared of was other people trying to get to the singer, knowing he's "single" famous and good-looking. Murdoc only had birds cuz he was a good shag, even ugly, and for him, girls would go to Stuart cuz he was gorgeous. He was jealous about that too but wouldn't tell. Stuart knew by the fact he stole his girlfriend's that Murdoc was really jealous when coming to Stuart. 

He messed with his hair noticing that frown. It was cute but Murdoc knew it was due to Paula's accident... his hand rest on his cheek. "I just want you." He looked deep into his void eyes hoping he would find the same as what he wanted inside them.

"'Course I'll still be all that.  You've been my best mate for 20 bloody years.  Nothing's gonna change that at this point, y'know?  No matter what you do," he added, obviously thinking for a moment on all of the things Murdoc had put him through over the years. He couldn’t do worse could he?  Still, though, they were friends and nothing was going to destroy that if all the earlier shit hadn't.

2D turned his face slightly into Murdoc's palm as the man touched his face, sighing comfortably and looking back down into Murdoc's eyes.  The statement the man said made Stu's breath catch in his throat and after a moment taken to calm himself he placed his hand upon Murdoc's cheek in return.  "I want you too, Mu’doc.  Honest."

Murdoc knew it was no matter what, but hearing Stuart say made his soul warmer and his heart beat fast. He was really lucky the singer always forgive and forgot all his shit, that weren’t little. Their friendship was something Murdoc thought that nothing could ruin. Bad with him much worse without him, he thought.

Murdoc slowly leaned closer and captured his lips for him in a fondly kiss, full of meaning. Telling Stuart he wanted him, was another way to tell he loved him. It wasn’t just for sex, but for much more than that, and he hoped Stuart wanted too when he replied.

Yeah, now they acted just like boyfriends, but Murdoc could live with that.

2D may have been too forgiving, really, but that was just the way he was.  It was likely a big mistake trying to get involved with Murdoc in any way but they'd already shagged so at this point what was there to lose?  Their friendship wasn't going anywhere, even if the relationship collapsed.

Stuart hadn't been expecting to be kissed but it was a welcome surprise.  The vocalists’ eyes closed slowly and he tilted his head aside, lips parting and tongue seeking Murdoc's for a proper snog.  He didn't let it stretch on unbearably long and when he withdrew he was grinning.

Moments later a thought had crossed his mind and he asked, "What do we tell the others?  Or do we just pretend everything's... Normal?"

Murdoc frowned a bit "This was something I was wondering too... I'm not... well good at telling people the truth and I haven’t even explained myself properly yet, just to Noodle..." He let the singer go slowly, knowing he had lied to everybody pretty much.

 "I still need to talk to Ace and Russ...." He had just locked himself with Stuart up and slept with him. Maybe they didn’t find the singer in his bedroom and found odd... "So I guess it's much information for them, they will need to believe me first to tell other stuff... and well they will find out eventually…" Murdoc knew how it was difficult to hide things from Russel specially. He rubbed the back of his neck "What you think we should do, Stu?" He looked at the singer concerned not wanting him to think that he was hiding or ashamed of Stuart.

2D seemed a little daunted when it seemed it would be his call as to whether or not to tell the others.  It felt like a lot of responsibility and, then again, just what were they announcing?  That they’d fucked?  They were just friends with benefits, right?  No need for any sorts of happy announcements much too early or anything like that.  Shit could get awkward if things didn't work out too.

"Well, maybe we can... Figure out what we've got first and then tell everyone.  I think it's best we just act normally around them, yeah?"  Stu was a little concerned he'd fuck up but that would be dealt with then if it happened.

"Sure..." Murdoc smiled. "They will be happy I guess seeing we didn’t fight.. and we're getting on well...." his mates should be glad they were fine right?

He walked past the singer again going inside his wardrobe in a place he used to keep Stuart's pills. Fortunately he found them there. The Satanist offered Stuart "Take it... bet you have a headache... or your arse must he hurting" he told him joking with a sly smile. A bit of care after all, even if they weren't officially together. "If anyone asks tell them you fell asleep in my room after we talked when I came home.." he shrugged, trying not to make things hard to the singer. "About your hickeys, tell it was a bird you met in the bar.." he always had an excuse for almost everything and Stuart was really purple on the neck.

2D bobbed his head in agreement.  "Mm-hmm!  And I'm sure if we're getting along well then everyone can get along."  Hopefully, at least.

2D kept his own towel around his waist and when Murdoc had handed him the pills he blinked but then smiled big.  "Yeah, they do.  Thank you Muds," he said not really annoyed, the singer knew pretty well why it was hurting.

  He looked around the room and eventually found an old bottle of water that he'd left in there some days before while raiding Murdoc's closet and used it to take a couple of the tablets.  Wouldn't be long until he felt completely better, which was a welcome thought.

Murdoc's suggestions of excuses to use for things was met with an understanding nod of Stuart's head and a quiet, " I dunno if I would've been able to think up that stuff on the spot," he admitted, seeming a little bit ashamed of his simplicity in that moment.  Then again, he'd proven himself to be a great liar when it came to explaining after effects of what Murdoc had done to him from time to time so who knows why he doubted himself.

"So," he said, fiddling with the hem of his towel after he put bot bottles down.  "You got any plans for today?"

Murdoc raised a brow to his question, that sounded like a date. "Well no... I need to talk to them at least and explain myself, or just say hi... are they too mad with me?" It's was fucking rude to Murdoc not talk to anyone and just stay with the singer whole time. "Besides that, nothing" He looked at him. "What you have in mind...? By the way I'd love to spend the rest of the day with you." He told him honestly, actually Murdoc wanted to spend his whole life with Stuart.

For a moment, he looked around his room, there were some things here and there that were different from how he left "Stu, I'm not complaining but, did anyone took care of my stuff while I was out?" He felt someone had been to his room while he was out, but who and why? The place wasn’t dirty, his clothes didn’t disappear, even El Diablo was there. He didn’t think everything that cared after those months. He needed to say at least a thank you.

2D shook his head a little bit.  "I dunno how they do or how they will feel," Stu murmured.  "I like to think that everyone'll just hear you out and accept it like I did.  You've been through some shit, mate.  Literally even."  A joke perhaps in poor taste but one the bluenette couldn't help but make.

2D felt a little underdressed when Murdoc had pulled on all of his clothes and he thought to excuse himself to his room to do the same after Murdoc answered.  What he'd said surprised him to the point that he forgot about that worry for an instant.  "With me?  That would be lovely," Stu managed after a moment of recovery.  He thought it would be lovely to spend the day with the older man, even if it meant the others 'missed out' on being around Murdoc.  It was just one more day, though, right?  What could it hurt?

"Oh, er...  I did.  I didn't let anyone else come in here but me.  I didn't want any of your stuff ruined or pawned or...  Eh, so...  So I came in from time to time and looked after it."  He'd actually spent a fair amount of time in the bassist's room and had gone as far as to sleep in his bed a couple times, though Stu would likely never admit such a thing.  "I hope you don't mind."

Murdoc shivered when he remembered "I almost drowned in shit mate..." he chuckled.

"Yeah... I mean.. after so much time apart... I guess I didn’t show you how much I missed you yet" he joked a bit really not wanting to be apart from the singer anymore. He missed a lot more than, well the sex they never had.

Murdoc stopped for a moment and his eyes widened. Of course, he didn’t mind. "You did that for me? Really?" Stuart was even better than he was thinking. Maybe he had missed him a bit more than Murdoc thought. He leaned closer and hugged him "Thank you Stu... " he noticed now he wasn’t dressed "If you wan, mate, you can take my clothes... I know they're not your size but..." Murdoc immediately tried to be gentle with Stuart, he should have had much work with his stuff, everything was clean and safe.

2D made a little bit of a face at the mention of the bassist's previous peril.  "I can't fucking imagine, mate," he said, grimacing but laughing.  "At least you made it out alive, though.  I was...  I was really depressed when I heard that'd you'd died," he admitted, eyes dropping toward the ground before he raised again to look at the older man.

When Murdoc had thanked him for taking care of his things he shrugged.  "I just didn't want anyone else touching any of it.  Especially if they were mad or something...  And I've kept El Diablo tuned, too," he noted, grinning a bit.

The offer of clothing was considered but he soon shrugged. "I guess I could borrow a shirt and some underwear.  My legs're too long for your trousers."  Stu spoke as if he already new this to be a fact without having to try them on.  Possibly because he already had.

"Yeah I guess this was the worst part... Everyone thinking I actually died... need to apologize for that" He told him a bit sad but somewhat glad Stuart had missed him and felt bad at his death.

Murdoc really thought his stuff would be ruined once he came back, and was what he deserved after what he had done...

If Murdoc had watched the "Humility" video, he would have found odd the way Stuart bothered about small trousers. Those shorts he was wearing barely let any space for imagination.

He took a step aside letting Stuart go to his wardrobe and pick something. "If any other day I disappear or anything, you still the only one allowed to touch my stuff huh?" He smirked. Murdoc would have done the same for Stuart. He turned his back to the singer "You.. you have beautiful legs mate... especially when around me." he blushed but Stuart couldn’t see from where he was.

2D took a moment to reach out, patting Murdoc's shoulder gently before dropping his hands to play with the hem of his towel once again. He stepped forward when allowed to find something for himself to wear and he eventually settled on a pair of black boxers and one of Murdoc's white turtlenecks.  He dropped his towel and put the clothing on before he walked over to the bed and invited himself to a seat on the edge of it.

"You like them, huh?"  Stu stretched out his legs in front of him, pointing his toes.  "And that's good cos last night's probably not gonna be the last time they are," he laughed, his own cheeks tinted with color at the admission.

In an attempt to get his head out of the gutter he asked, "So...  If you hadn't seen the concert footage, have you seen the videos?  We did two of 'em."

Murdoc smiled looking to him. He looked so nice in his clothes, and his legs looked… tasty to say at least. "I do. Hope it happens soon~..." He teased a bit ready to mark inside his thighs. "Good idea mate, the turtleneck will hide the hickeys" He would compliment Stuart but Murdoc wasn’t good in that.

He sat down next to him, a hand went on his thigh gently squeezing it, as he really appreciate his legs. "I heard about them... but no, haven't seen not the concert or videos… Can you show me...?" he asked with a smile.

“I bet you do," he purred, obviously positively receptive to such a comment.

For an instant, the dullard had looked perplexed when the man had complimented his 'idea' of the turtleneck but he soon realized and snorted.  "Didn't even think of that. I just thought it looked cozy!"

2D glanced down toward Murdoc's hand when it had squeezed his leg and he placed his own hand atop it, giving it a gentle squeeze in return.  "Yeah, I can show 'em to you!"  2D looked around on the ground for his discarded clothing and once he found his jeans he grabbed his mobile from the pocket and tapped the screen a few times. “Which ones you wanna watch first?”

"Cozy?" He remembered using the turtleneck while in Plastic beach, it was anything but cozy while they were there but he wouldn’t argue. "I like that in you, keep it." He said honestly loving the way his hand was squeezed. Stuart was definitely comfortable with him around, it was priceless for the Satanist.

"Really!?  Thanks, Mu’doc!"  The boy seemed quite excited to get to have a piece of clothing gifted to him rather than just stealing it out of the closet in Murdoc's absence.  Bit more special that way.

“You’re welcome mate…” Murdoc thought for a moment “The concert footage…”

"Eh, it's...  They're no big deal," he mumbled, shrugging. Soon his face was blushing and he bit his lip. Murdoc raised one brow.  Obviously with how he was avoiding showing it there must have been something juicy being 'hidden' from the Satanist.  He wouldn't let 2D escape with those videos. There was something more he wanted to avoid...

Stuart sighed. “Well as I said before, Muds, we've got a connection, y'know?  Or, well, I feel like we do, now more than when I mention it before…” He looked at him smiling. “Even when I was mad with everything you had done or you were away _I never stopped thinking about you. ..."_

Silently he opened up the footage of one of the performances of the last song of his album.  Still not saying a word, he tapped play and then handed the phone over to the Satanist.  "Maybe that'll show that I'm not lying."  'I will always think about you' indeed.

Murdoc grabbed his phone and watched. In a part of the song he appeared in the screen right behind the singer. He looked at the cellphone and him not really believing what he was looking at. "Yeah... I guess we really have a connection...." And genuinely smiled. "Thank you... I..." He leaned closer him. "I will always think about you..." He repeated the words smiling, now understanding what they really meant.

2D smiled at him back.  Hell, even the sound of his own voice tinged with emotion deeper than that which was on the album had made his cheeks redden, especially because he was well-aware of what part of the visuals would be playing at any given moment.

Thankfully, Murdoc hadn't laughed at him or said anything untoward about the performance and as the video came to a close 2D reached out and gently took his phone back nervous.

"Thanks for, um, not laughing at that or anything...  I knew you'd watch it eventually so I figured I might as well be the one to show it to you." He explained quickly to the Satanist.

Murdoc nodded. "Why would I laugh...? You didn’t laugh at _Plastic Beach_..." Murdoc knew it was a dark time in their relationship when they recorded that album, but now was a dark time once again and it was there, both man thinking about each other. Even for him was not fair laughing at something he knew was serious for Stuart. He wouldn’t take his time doing that joking. Were his feeling in the song and hearing it made the Satanist believe they were true.

 "Some songs in it..." He took a deep breath "Look I was at my lows and... you were the only one that kept me sane... when I was drunk... I thought about you when I wrote them..." He told everything looking another way. If Stuart was honest with him, he would be too. "I won’t laugh on something you wrote thinking about me 2D... I'm rude and cruel but that’s a little too much... even for me..."

2D seemed a little perplexed when Murdoc had made mention of _Plastic Beach,_ but as he explained further, it seemed to dawn on the idiot that the more emotional and romantic tracks on that album, something so uncommon for Murdoc’s ways, had been pointedly made with Stu in mind, quite similar to the way 2D had been thinking of Murdoc while working on _The Now Now._

Stu cleared his throat and shook his head slowly, running his fingers back through his hair, leaving it slightly mussed up.  "God, maybe I am stupid," he chuckled, "I..  I guess I never put two and two together until now."  He had inklings and guesses at such at thing but back then it had seemed like something that he was grasping at straws wishing for rather than anything set in reality.

"I, uh," he paused to clear his throat, "I'm glad we're on the same page, then.  ..I think?"

"If you hadn’t tell me the truth I wouldn’t put either Stu... stop saying you're stupid, only I can say that..." He joked a bit.

Murdoc wondered about his last question "What you mean same page mate...?" he was a bit confused with that statement, or was afraid to misunderstand what Stuart was saying.

Stuart seemed at least a little relieved to hear that he wasn't alone in misunderstanding his band mate’s album.  At least everything had been sorted now and they were each a bit more privy to what went on in the others' head, even if it was just as far as inspiration for song lyrics went.

"Oh, er...  I meant we've both written an album inspired by the other?"  Not really what he'd meant to say but it was much less daunting to manage that than trying to suggest that they had some sort of thing for one another.  If it was a sure thing that they really both felt exactly the same he'd have gone for it but there was always that little bit of doubt.  He didn't want to risk it at all, especially not now that they'd managed to begin to come clean to one another about things of this nature.

"Oh I see your point..." he looked at the singer "Guess we did..." he smiled remembering when he wrote _On a Melancholy Hill_... Stuart was still his medicine when he was close to him. He felt weird being that honest for the first time in his life... so he managed to change the subject "Well I told you about me... the band... and everything, but how is Stu-pot...? Yourself not the band.” Murdoc knew others must have asked this to the singer, but he felt the urge too. Previous conversation went around himself not the singer.

Stuart really had to have been some level of dull to not have read the obvious signs littered throughout their old record but at least now he had a grasp on the true meaning behind the words he'd sung so many times now.

2D cocked his head aside when Murdoc questioned about his own wellbeing now that all of his baggage had been unpacked.  There was hesitation and then a dull shrug.  "I've been fine, I guess?  I'unno.  It's like...  With you gone I felt better about myself than ever but..  Still felt like shit.  If that makes any sense at all..."

"It kinda doesn't..." Murdoc laughed a bit "I notice by the interviews you were a bit cockier and self-confident about everything... It just, didn’t fit you..." He looked at the singer "I just thought if something had happened with you while I was away..." He was concerned for sure. "Why feeling like shit...? When I reached here I thought you would kick me out immediately, was a lot better without me…" He told him trying to joke but sounding a bit hurt.

2D gave a half-hearted smile when the older man had mentioned his appearances in the media.  In hindsight, he supposed that he was being a right dickhead but at the same time it had felt strangely justified.  Really, he'd become a bit of a monster in Murdoc's absence.  A bit more like the man himself.

"I guess I just feel different when you're not around.  Dunno if that's a good or a bad thing, though," he said, laughing dryly.  It really wasn't that funny.

2D smirked "I had half a mind to send you packing when you first showed up, I'll admit that.  But...  the talking had been kinda nice.  The sex too..."

"Yeah the sex definitely mate… I guess everyone feels different when someone you're used to be around for 20 years all of a sudden is missing..." He told about himself. "Yeah... I didn't have many people to talk to while in jail... just the times when you came to visit me I had a chance to interact a bit with someone... that didn't want to beat the shit outta me..." He laughed but it wasn't funny too. Was another way to tell him he missed him. "But I guess you wanted to punch me didn't you...?" He teased.

Looking at it that way, Stu supposed Murdoc was right.  They'd had a few-year gaps in their relationship and this had been shorter than some but this one had been so damn sudden and unexplained that it shook something in 2D.  He hadn't been dismissed or forced away - Murdoc was simply there one day and gone the next.

"Not wrong about that either," Stu admitted. "Probably wouldn't feel the same if there hadn't been glass between us, though."  An admission of weakness.  With some sort of defense or knowledge that Murdoc couldn't do anything to him his courage was bolstered. “No not at all, I was angry but not up for fighting…” he said about the punch.

"Guess we both changed... for good." He said smiling to the singer. "I'm happy to be home 2D... really am" he thought that had already talked about everything he needed. "I... you have my word, mate, I won't do something like that again... ever..." He hoped Stuart believed he really regret what he had done.

                “I know you won’t luv” He placed a hand on his shoulder “Want to see the next video?” Murdoc nodded. Was “Humility”.

Soon the video had started he placed his hands on Murdoc's shoulder and his chin down atop them.  His gaze flicked between Murdoc and the screen, trying to gauge what his reaction to it was. Now he really wanted to see, the concert footage he was ashamed.

After the video started Murdoc began frowning "Oi, what the bloody hell are you wearing 2D? Was that your idea or producer's?" He asked sounding a bit angry but not really. Their producers usually had those weird ideas, like that bunch of women surrounding the Satanist in " _Feel Good Inc."_ video.

 He looked at him. "Sweet Satan those shorts... is this Venice beach?" He recognized the place "Is this bloody Jack Black? I can’t believe that..." and the video kept going. Noodle was lovely playing chess, Ace much likely the bad guy... He wished he could have recorded with them, even hating beaches.

"Oi, why Russel made you fall?" He began laughing seeing how the singer fell, but stopped once he saw his eyes going from white to black. That was happening since a long time ago so.... He folded his arms once the video was over "All right mate, I want explanations and want now..." he looked really jealous due to his outfit. Murdoc could have easily jerked off to that pair of legs.

2D's big, stupid smile had faded a little bit when Murdoc had remarked about his clothing choice in such a fashion.  Nervous and his voice shaking a little he said, "..It was mine," as he straightened his posture and dropped his hands to his lap, thumbs fiddling with one another.  All at once he felt self-conscious about the outfit even though it was shot months ago and he'd never thought too much about it before.

Murdoc's further remarks about the video were answered in little nods and at the question about Russel Stuart gave a rather clueless shrug of his shoulders in response.  "I'unno.  Seemed to have a problem with me that day. Ace had a problem with the guys he messed the ball too…"  Judging by how Stu was acting when Murdoc got home maybe such a thing wasn't surprising.

All at once the boy had seemed nervous again, this time fiddling with the hem of his turtleneck now that the towel was no long present.  "Did...  Did you not like it?"  Stu seemed pointlessly worried.

Murdoc couldn’t help but smile. There was his singer back, the same one scared and hesitant. "I'm not mad at you... I'm just joking.." He acted that way to see if Stuart was back to his normal really.

"Of course I liked it, I'm just jealous..." He looked at him "You need to take me to Venice... and teach me how to skate huh..." He said with a smile giving a friendly hug to his lover and shaking him a bit to lift the mood. He didn’t know Stuart was able to roller that way. The lad couldn’t take two steps without falling on his face.

"And wear those shorts for me huh..?" He teased kissing his cheek. They actually made a nice work when he was out. Stuart just didn’t get was all fake anger, the dense twat... Murdoc was arrested, his fault not taking part into those good occasions.

2D breathed a sigh of relief when Murdoc had pointed out that he'd just been messing with the boy.  'Eheheh...  Yeah... I'm glad you did like it, though!"  His exuberance was back as soon as he knew that Murdoc had actually enjoyed the video.  "Awright, awright.  We can go sometime.  And I'll teach you how to skate a bit, yeah?  I used to do it a lot as a kid and it's kinda like ridin' a bike in that you don't forget once y'know how," he said, grinning.

"You're in luck on the shorts cos I've still got them," Stu laughed, grinning from ear to ear.  "Maybe if you're really good I'll wear them for you soon, how's that sound?"  Stuart was quite happy to hear that the man had found him attractive enough in the outfit to want to see him wear it in the flesh.

Stu had leaned into the little kiss to his cheek and he leaned over in order to return the little smooch though his landed on the corner of Murdoc's lips.

Murdoc smiled seeing him that excited. God he was terrified of losing the singer. His good mood, love for music and sweet soul were things Murdoc would rather be dragged to hell by Satan himself than losing it.

"Sounds good Stu... but just for me this time huh? I don’t want to share y’know? I'd love to take them out as what you got under is way better~" He teased a bit kissing his neck while pulling the turtleneck a bit down. He was each time more in love with the singer. Wanted to do any of the tiny things he was suggesting... He needed to.

"Well can you show me the other video Stu? I really hope you were wearing more... clothes in it than _Humility_..." He said pulling him even closer, with his legs on his lap now. It reminded him of their old times in the Winnebago getting drunk and high and watching stuff or hearing music. But this time they were sober, and it was much better.

2D blushed furiously at what Murdoc had said and giggled softly, reaching up to cover his cheeks as if he could hide the fact although it had been quite obvious the instant it had occurred and he'd been much too late to properly hide it.  His hands had dropped when Murdoc began kissing his neck, thigh, head tilting aside just slightly.

"Mm..  Pretty sure that can be arranged.  I'll wear them just for you," the boy agreed, more than happy to wear anything that Murdoc wanted to see him in.  He was almost certain there'd be other requests down the line as well.

"Oh!  Yeah!  Definitely got more clothes on, promise," he laughed, soon tapping a few more buttons to he phone as he allowed Murdoc to pull his legs into his lap, comfortable.  Soon he'd started the video for _Tranz_ and then offered the phone over to Murdoc again.

Murdoc found terribly adorable how the singer behaved to his teasing. Different from other lovers that would tease back or just say something even dirtier, Stuart was simpler and lovely flushing that way.

Murdoc stopped what he was doing to pay full attention to the video. Was really different from the other... psychedelic even. "Oh did Noodle died her hair? It's really... Different..." He wasn't expecting that color on his daughters hair at all, didn’t find ugly, just a bit, odd. And the way she didn't look to anyone in the video was strange.

Russel was smiling a bit too much... He wasn't usually that way while recording videos. In _Humility_ , he just smiled when Stuart fell. Ace was having the time of his life and for that Murdoc laughed. He liked his old mate, at least he was able to participate into 2 videos... much more than Murdoc thought he would do while a replacement. He just hoped he had fun. "You all and Ace get on pretty well, huh?" He smiled to the singer.

Murdoc frowned a bit in the end that things became a bit odd... "Stu 2 things, is this a video effect or your eyes can really be flashlights? And why you look so upset in the video...? You didn't smile... look so pissed.. did anything had happened to you, mate?" He said a bit worried in the end of the video. Was that producer’s idea or Stuart's?

Stuart could throw the occasional dirty comment in return if he was in the right mood but usually he'd just blush and smile almost awkwardly.  Maybe it wasn't such a shocker that he had easily adapted a different, white-eyed persona - maybe that personality was under the innocent surface all along.

‘D once again glanced between the screen and the older man, gauging his reaction.  Whenever there had been a question, he'd answered it  "Mm-hmm, she said she did it for fun.  I think it's a cool look for her, even if she didn't keep it very long."

"Oh, sure!  Ace was real polite and stuff.  Well, mostly, but he did well on bass!  Still not you, though," Stu teased before Murdoc had seemed to become concerned.

At the first of the two questions Stu stared at Murdoc blankly for a few seconds before he started laughing.  "It's just an effect, mate!"  Still laughing, Stu had clapped Murdoc on the back before he got a little bit more serious when he answered the next question.

"I just...  I wasn't doing too great during that time," he murmured, shrugging.  "You were gone and I felt strangely..  Empty?"

Murdoc wouldn’t admit but he was a bit jealous about Ace. His mate was able to do what he in twenty years couldn’t, that was conquer almost everyone due to his charisma and personality that was way better than the Satanist’s. He was afraid Stuart and him could get close in his absence. Knowing by the singer he wasn’t like him was a stroke for his ego, again.

Murdoc laughed back to him, "Of course mate. An effect... sorry I’ve been through some crazy shit, now I believe that almost everything is possible..." He thought that his eyes could really shine that way, Stuart was acting so strangely.

He stopped laughing at his last reply... "I... kinda know how it feels like... I was alone in prison, getting my ass beated up, paying for my sins..." His hand went to caress his hair again, the way he did when nervous. "I thought you were happy, glad that I was in a hell hole... the one who abused you for so many years finally getting the payback y’know?" He sighed a bit. "Next video you can smile a bit more know? Fans like that.." He cracked a smile "And I do too..." He whispered looking into his eyes and leaning closer.

Murdoc thought the footage could be better if Stuart was smiling like normally he did. that upset face just didn’t fit in his  personality. He felt was his fault too someway.

2D had gotten close to Ace but only to the point of friendship.  Maybe if he hadn't been pining so hard for the man in jail he'd have given it a shot but his mind had been much too distracted thinking of Murdoc of all things.

"It's awright. Lotsa people seemed to think it was real so, hey, guess the effect worked," Stu said with a soft bit of laughter.  When Murdoc spoke about how he had a bad time in prison Stuart frowned a little bit and shook his head.  "Nah, mate...  I mean, for a little bit I was kinda pleased with you out of the picture but..  That changed pretty quickly," he admitted.  "Then I missed you and it just got worse from there..."

The mention of him smiling in the next video had him smiling broadly then and there, especially when Murdoc had said he liked seeing it as well.  "I'll try to smile more often then, mm?  Just for you."

"Sweet Satan I'll have to talk to the producers... It's a whole LSD thing this video shoot Stu... was it your idea this play doo version of you?" He joked, mood lifting a bit.

Murdoc was glad he didn’t throw a party when he was arrested. He thought Stuart would have run to the hills when he knew he was released, afraid of being beaten.

"Do that for me and I'll try to smile more often too, how does it sound...? But just for you.. to the press I'll be the regular asshole bad boy I was before.." He thought Stuart liked the bad guys "Only you will know the truth.." he kissed his nose squeezing his thighs that were still on his lap. The truth was that he could be soft kind and gentle when he wanted.

"You won't feel.. empty anymore mate... have my word..." he leaned closer "Even if what you need is my knob filling you up~..." He couldn’t help being naughty, he was still Murdoc Niccals.

2D bobbed his head in a nod.  "S'cool, innit?  Lee Hardcastle did some work for us," he explained, grinning.  "'Least I think it was pretty cool.  Right, trippy, yeah?"  The mention of talking to the producers didn't seem to phase 2D.  Murdoc liked to try and direct things of that sort and Stu was happy to let him.  Less work for him at the end of the day and any relief he could get from the workload he had recently was welcome.

"Sounds like a plan, then," 2D said as Murdoc described how he would act so gentle but only for him.  It meant Stu was quite special to Murdoc and the boy could experience the best of both worlds in a way.  It was an attractive prospect.

2D's face lit red when Murdoc made his dirty comment and leaned in and he'd raised his hands up to either side of his face, smushing his cheeks a little bit.  "Stooop," he said, laughing.  "Dirty boy, aren't you?"

Murdoc smiled "Oh did he...? Nice..I like that.. We can work with that next videos... the ones I'll be into" He told in a louder tone excited "Murdoc is back babe.." he raised his arms.

He pulled him closer wrapping his arms around his thin waist when he got red. "I prefer bad boy... and I know you like it... you asked me not to change remember?..." He kissed his neck pulling the turtleneck a bit down. "This dirty, only with you too, Bluebird..." Murdoc purred in satisfaction knowing he had him exclusively. His face nuzzled the cloth, he giggled. "Mine.." He whispered, not sounding possessive, but sweet, someway.

2D found himself laughing at Murdoc's antics and soon he joked, "Dunno if that's a good thing or not yet, blud."  Of course he was just playing around - it was a wonderful thing for Murdoc to be back, at least in his eyes.

As Stu's boy was drawn in and his past request was mentioned he leaned into Murdoc and gave a small nod of his head.  "I've always liked that in you.  You're dangerous and..  And I guess I'm attracted to that," he admitted.  Maybe it wasn't a good thing but he couldn't help himself.  The kisses to his neck were greatly appreciated and as Murdoc spoke of their agreement to be faithful to one another Stu smiled.  "Lucky, lucky me," he said with a little laugh.  "Lucky _us._ "

"Dangerous? Who me? I'm a blossom, love... "He chuckled against his chest sounding melodramatical. "Don't worry mate, I won’t put you into any trouble.." he tranquilized him still joking. He shivered a bit when Stuart said _us_... he never though they would be "us" as in a couple. It made his heart jump with joy. That made Murdoc hug him tighter. He was a bit too clingy but who cares... at least they weren't fighting.

Stu tutted and rolled his eyes when the man said he wasn't dangerous.  They both knew that was a lie but perhaps with this change between them he'd be seeing less of the physically dangerous side of the man.  He was further relieved when Murdoc said he wouldn't do anything untoward to him.  Of course, he believed him wholeheartedly.

He made a surprised noise when Murdoc had squeezed him tighter and soon he was grinning from ear to ear and squeezing Murdoc tighter in return as well.  "Mm..  It's so cozy with you like this."

Murdoc chuckled lowly "I wish I could stay like this with you whole day, mate..." He told him honestly and a bit too fondly but soon pulled out slowly. "But we need to go out... I have to face the others and it’s pretty late already." He looked down "And you need trousers..." He joked pointing at his bare legs and had a mean idea. He quickly lifted him bridal style. "So I'm taking you to your room so we can solve that" He smirked knowing Stuart would be really ashamed and pissed.

2D seemed completely on board for spending the day together but Murdoc was right.  He needed to talk to the other two who were undoubtedly back by now.  Probably a bit more to Noodle as well.  "Mm, awright..  Shame we can't just stay locked away forever," he joked before looking down at his legs when they were mentioned.

"Oh, yeah, I'll just head over to my r-"  Stu's words had been cut off when he suddenly found himself scooped up like that.  He blinked owlishly before blushing and stammering, "O..Oi!  Put...  Put me down, will you?  I can walk on my own.  A..And if the others saw us like this..."

"Fuck the others... It's bloody noon and you're still in my room, mate... disappeared since yesterday." There was no way the others wouldn’t notice that. He chuckled and leaned to kiss his lips for some moments like a last kiss before they leave his room. He didn’t know when they would be able to do it again. Murdoc was craving for him.

He opened the door and headed to Stu's bedroom "You said you liked danger didn’t you..?" he chuckled while walking out. "Don’t worry I'll just talk to them and after we can cuddle watch a movie or anything you want.." he told him softly, clearly still wanting to have the singer around. "Maybe you could sing for me huh... I missed that too.." he told him honestly.


	4. Explanations

Somehow it seemed to have slipped his mind how long they'd been in Murdoc's room.  Everything had felt like it went by so quickly.  "Ugh, you're right.” he mumbled, striking one of his palms against his own forehead in annoyance.  Shame the rest of the members weren't as dumb as him and could quickly put two and two together.  Either they were having a long heart-to-heart that had involved much talking, something had happened and they knew it.

Stu returned the quick kiss he’d been given and when Murdoc headed for the door so soon after he made a little squeak of surprise, covering his face for some reason as he was carried to his bedroom.  Still, he at least managed to reply to Murdoc, "That sounds good.  We can do whatever you want.  My welcome-home treat for you." He chuckled nervously.

Murdoc chuckled "Don't be shy, luv.... you were in charge of the band and didn’t kicked me outta the house, the others will understand..." He wasn’t ashamed of being with the singer, actually he didn’t give a fuck if anyone seen them together.

He smiled seeing Stuart wanting him to feel welcome, Murdoc felt home the moment he heard his voice again. Soon they reached his bedroom and thankfully, no one was around. "There you go..." he placed him on the bed and sat down next to him "See? _Harmless_." He joked. "I can’t do anything if you're light as a feather mate, I could carry you around whole day..." he did it other times when Stuart fell asleep in wrong places while drunk or when he took too many pills. Was a way of bonding and helping the singer. Now it felt different someway, cozier.

2D was a little relieved at the suggestion that everyone would understand and perhaps nothing would come of it.  He hoped so, at least.  The bluenette was dealing with enough with Murdoc back, he didn't need the others changing their tune of him because he'd been so lenient with the bastard.  God help him if he got found out for fucking him the night he came back, though.

Once they'd made it into 2D's bedroom the bluenette relaxed a little and flashed a smile toward Murdoc.  "Harmless…" he repeated, expression suggesting that he found it a bit strange to be using that word to describe Murdoc of all people.

"Maybe if you fuck up again that'll be your first punishment.  Carrying me around all day.” the boy said with a big grin.

"Well... I asked you what would you want me to do for you forgive me... you said treat you better and nothing else..." He shrugged. "I’d do anything for punishment... to make up to you huh?" Murdoc knew Stuart wouldn’t be mean with him, carrying him around wasn’t something that bad for forgiveness.

He smiled placing a hand on his thigh. "Now get dressed luv, we have whole day ahead still..." He smirked happy to have him whole day and whole life ahead with Stuart. "You look really nice in my turtleneck by the way, let's try other colors of it next time.. huh?." He knew he had more than one and Stuart would look nice in any one.

2D nodded.  "I know that's all I asked for and that's all I really want.  You having to carry me around for a day would just be a bonus" he snickered.  When reminded they were here to get him some trousers he'd nodded and hopped up from the bed.  Rather than swapping out Murdoc's underwear for his own while he had the chance he kept the bassist's boxers on and pulled on a pair of jeans over them.

"That sounds nice." he replied to the comment about him wearing other colors of turtlenecks that the bassist owned.  "I'd wear anything you wanted me to, y'know?  I'm yours to dress up.” he teased, blushing again.  It was weird to be saying these sorts of things to Murdoc of all people, but weird in a good way.

Once Stu was dressed he looked expectantly toward Murdoc and asked, "So?  We headin' downstairs now?"

"That would be a great excuse if anyone asked why I was carrying you bridal style 2D..." He chuckled "My punishment..." He said jokingly.

Murdoc raised his brows "Oh really... but I rather you mine to "undress" up..~." He teased a bit like the asshole he was. "But well you're a walking model... I can get used to the idea..." He smiled to his singer.

He looked at him with his last statement... "Not so fast..." He pulled out his upside down cross from his neck placing around the singer's "Now we may." He joked. Was another way to show people he was taken without really saying, wearing something as iconic and Murdoc's as his cross. "That's yours now.." he said smiling.

2D blinked but then grinned soon after. "You're right!  You think of everything, don't you?"  Stuart smiled fondly at the older man then but when he teased him about undressing him instead Stu reached over and gave his shoulder a gentle whap.  He was struck with a fit of giggles then as color once again crossed his face.  He'd blushed more with Murdoc in these last 24 hours than he had in months. Laughed too. He couldn’t deny was good having him back and this new treatment made he happy.

When the cross had been placed around his neck 2D's brows hiked and he looked down at it before looking back toward Murdoc. "R..Really?  I mean, you've got others, right?  It'd be weird seeing you not wearing it…” he noted, smiling still.  "But I'm happy to wear it as long as you want me to, either way.”

Murdoc would do anything to make him red and adorable as he was. His laugh was the best gift he could have asked after so much time away. The Satanist finally noticed how he loved it as much as he hated him crying. Even more when he made him cry.

Murdoc smiled standing up and taking a step back to see how the singer looked whole, his outfit. "No, it's the only one I’ve got Stu. It was a regular cross... I made it upside down... Sebastian told me he found me holding it when I was abandoned... probably the only thing I have that's my mother's... and it was the last thing I could keep from my... house. I stole it before he could get rid of it...." He explained. That cross really meant the world for him. But Stuart meant too. "I know you'll take care of it very well..." He placed a hand on his shoulder looking into his eyes.

2D was quite surprised to hear that Murdoc was entrusting him with something that was obviously so important to him.  Knowing its possible origins made it just that much more special that Murdoc had given it to him.  Of course, this came with the power to give it back whenever he pleased as well so Stu figured it was okay for him to have it.  Plus, it was a surprisingly romantic gesture when he really thought about t and it brought a certain warmth to his heart.

"Of course I will, Muds.  I won't let anything happen to it, promise."  2D smiled again, bright and earnest.  Of course, now the fact that something had occurred was probably very obvious considering 2D was wearing both Murdoc's shirt and his cross but at least the shirt thing wasn't anything new.  D'd been raiding his closet for a while now, anyway.

2D leaned in and gave Murdoc a soft kiss before he drew away and looked toward his doorway.  "I hope you're ready to explain yourself again.” he laughed.

Murdoc knew the singer been using his clothes, but he didn’t mind at all. He took care of all of them for him. He was glad. Besides he could buy others for himself.

Murdoc smiled into the kiss but his smirk slowly faded "I am... tired just to think about explaining... I’ve already explained to who mattered the most..." He laughed back to the singer messing his hair a bit in a playful way. "Let's see who's awake, or better make a reunion? So I can explain to everybody at once...?" he asked going to the door.

2D nodded slowly in understanding.  "Yeah, I bet you are..  Well, at least once it's all over you should be able to rest up, mm?  Though, somehow, I doubt you will." He shrugged a little and then reached up to adjust the turtleneck again to make sure his neck was completely the covered.  Those hickeys would give everything away in an instant, after all.

Once they'd headed out of Stu's room the singer followed along, stopping at the stairs only to call out, "Oi!  Everybody!  Murdoc's ready to talk!"  Bit of a dick move if nobody was awake but it was  reaching noon at this point so he figured everybody already was.

"I've already rested enough in prison mate..." He didn’t do much there, getting sad and bored most of the time. He had already drink once he arrived so now he wanted to do any other thing in order not to rest.

Murdoc placed a hand on his own face with shame when the singer began yelling. He didn’t need that kind of announcement but well there it was, no turning back now. He tried his best smile and raised his head to talk to the others. In other times Murdoc would have yelled to him and punched his head angry that he was being stupid, but not now.

2D blinked owlishly at the reaction he'd gotten from the man but when it seemed that he wasn't outright upset about what had happened he proceeded past him and down the stairs.  Thankfully, the others had heard the bluenette's call and soon enough all five of them were stood in the living room, everyone looking expectantly toward the Satanist, 2D included.

Notably, the boy's eyes had returned to their white color and he seemed to be back in his prior personality once again, just like that. Despite what he was wearing, which had undoubtedly seen noticed judging by the looks the other three gave him, he seemed dead-set on making it appear as if things were still 'normal'.

"Well,?"  Russel was the first to break the silence.  "You'd better get to talkin', cos I got better stuff to be doing' right now than this."

Murdoc swallowed hard, those eyes. Weren’t something good, but now he had another stuff to be worried with, Russel and the others didn’t look happy, even Ace, his long date mate.

He cleared his throat sitting on one of the sides of the couch "Hey everyone... I..." The three frowned to him. "I lied. Okay, you know that. I came here to apologize for that and explain the truth. I already told Noodle and 2D... " He looked at Ace and Russel.

"Guys it was all my fault, that stupid campaign get in my head and before I could notice everyone was thinking that I was dead in the sewers after a fiasco escape...." He took a deep breath "I did it all due to jealousy and headlines, and I'm sorry. No one should have been through the shit I’ve put you into and I promise I won't do anything like that ever again."

He looked at his daughter "Noodle, sorry for asking you to go to the end of the world to look for me... And for a guy I made up his name and didn’t even know he really existed. Thank you for not letting me die frozen"

He looked at Russel and Ace again "Guys I'm sorry for worrying you, for lying and for being an asshole. Ace you were amazing, Stuart showed me the footages, thanks for replacing me while I was out, you did that all and I know you didn’t have any sort of obligation to... Russ... I know we have our differences but... I missed you, actually I missed all you guys." he said almost fainting from nervousness and anxiety. He needed to know if they really forgive him. "And 2D I didn’t say it before but, you're not an ungrateful wanker, I was mad that Gorillaz still a huge success without me..." he finally apologized for everything he needed.

Stuart stood nearby when Murdoc had begun to explain himself, glancing between the Satanist and the rest of the band as he did so.  He wasn’t sure how Russ and Ace would take the older man's admissions of what he'd done.  How he'd lied and started all this mess over a bit of petty jealousy.  Sure, it had snowballed somewhat out of his control but instead of setting the record straight Murdoc had basked in the attention and Stuart was well aware that such at thing wasn't okay.  Hell, if Stu knew that then of course the others did as well.

Ace had accepted Murdoc's apology quite quickly.  Noodle seemed appreciative to the fact that he'd told everyone now as well as apologized again for endangering her in the process.  Russel, though hesitant, did seem happy to see that Murdoc was at least trying.  Stuart, however, blinked when the man had something else to say to him as well and soon the bluenette was smiling big.

"I'm glad that's all out in the open now.  You feel better now, don'tcha, Muds?"  Stu raised his hand and clapped it against the older man's back a couple times.

Murdoc nodded. Indeed he felt so much better than when he first arrived at the room. "It's the truth... I mean it." He thought for a moment about speaking about them two but those eyes prevented him from sharing a word. "Thank you all for… ahm… taking care of Stuart too… Do you guys can forgive me...?" He would ask the same, what he needed to do for them to forgive him, but the eyes gazing him seemed pretty scary and angry, he wouldn’t push that far.

2D was well unaware of the fact that it had crossed Murdoc's mind to explain what had changed between the two of them but it was uncertain whether he'd be pleased with such an admission so quickly.  Probably for the best that Murdoc had kept it just between the two of them for now, just like Stu had suggested.

                When he mentioned the taking care part he frowned, clearly annoyed with that. He wasn’t a child anymore, he could take care of himself alone. The hand on his shoulder just squeezed while he controlled himself.

Ace nodded and said, "No hard feeling's, man.  Plus now that you're back I figure I'm outta here soon anyway, yeah?"  Noodle had given a quick thumb's up before making an 'I'm watching you' gesture with her fingers pointed at her eyes and then toward Murdoc.  Russel, though, shrugged his shoulders and said, "Just don't pull this shit again, man.  You're on thin ice already."

Eventually, after accepting Murdoc's apology to varying degrees of acceptance, the bluenette and the bassist were left in the room together once again.

"See? That wasn't so bad, yeah?"  Stu was grinning again.  Still in public, though, 2D's demeanor had not yet returned to the one Murdoc knew and loved.  That boldness was there, even if it wasn't as 'in your face' as it had been when Murdoc had first returned home.

Murdoc smiled feeling a bit of relief now "thank you guys... I'll be better, promise." He looked at Stuart "I'm a changed man..." He knew the singer knew what he really meant with that.

When they were left alone "Yeah... it wasn’t... I thought they wouldn’t accept that  fast, or believe me..." He smiled to him back, still noticing Stuart wasn’t himself. "Do you think they noticed, y’know, us?" He asked curiously "I didn’t know if it was okay saying something about that..." he looked into his eyes, hoping they fade to back to black soon.

Murdoc thought that his new persona would easily tell everyone not really bothering about them, as he was daring that way. He would say as it was not a big deal and probably hurt Murdoc. Fortunately, this didn’t happen. He wondered what was the trigger to make his eyes become white, he didn’t do anything wrong, did he?

2D knew that, just as Murdoc said, he had changed.  Finally learned his lesson after twenty damn years, or so it seemed.  Of course, his change for the better might not be perfect at first but at least 2D was mentally prepared for some sort of setbacks in the long run.  He knew he had to be patient, so he would be.

"Yeah, that did go really well, didn't it?"  Stu wasn't quite sure if it meant everyone was just so tired of Murdoc's shit that they simply accepted to be done with it, but either way it seemed ot have been an accepted apology and that was the most important part.

"Umm... I dunno.  I saw Noodle looking at the necklace, but..." He shrugged a little. Until he had confirmation that the cat was out of the bag he was going to choose to believe that nobody knew or at least nobody really cared.  "Prolly good you didn't say anything, though...  I'd look pretty pathetic if they knew on the first night you came back that we..."  Stu trailed off, shaking his head.

Stu seemed to notice that Murdoc seemed a little thrown by his return to his 'other persona' and rather than lightening up he seemed possessed to double down. He stepped toward Murdoc and walked him back into the wall, placing his hands to the wall on either side of Murdoc's head as he leaned in over him.  "Everything awright?"  His words seemed teasing and everything about his body language spoke to that dominant confidence that Murdoc had returned home to yesterday.

Murdoc just looked at him blushing a bit. He frowned when the singer pressed him against the wall. That wasn’t his self. "Everything is good 2D, i thought you'd look pathetic if they knew we fucked..." He said the word Stuart avoided. He didn’t move to shove the singer, but he knew pretty well where this all would end again. Besides noodle should have notice yes, she was the smarter of the group in the end.

 He wasn’t ashamed of anyone seeing them together but Stuart was pushing too far. He loved the teasing but... it wasn’t right. He didn’t react to being pushed against the wall, his arms laying lifelessly on the sides of his body, he just starring the taller man cornering him. His plan was different from the other night.

2D had frowned for an instant as the man used the word 'pathetic' in kind.  It was one thing for D to say it himself but to hear it from someone else had been a bit displeasing.  The bluenette narrowed his eyes little bit and as it seemed he wasn't going to get any sort of reaction out of Murdoc he eventually gave up on whatever it was that he was up to and pushed himself back away from the wall and from Murdoc as well.

Not to let the fact that he hadn't gotten any sort of rise out of the bassist for backing him up against the wall like that bother him, 2D soon turned his attention in the direction of the kitchen.  "I think I'm gonna have a bit to eat.  You?"  Stu looked back at him then, one brow raised above those still-white eyes.

Murdoc kept frowning. So Stuart wouldn’t react if he didn’t, right? Nice discovery. Now that they shagged wasn’t wise use the strength to put him back in place or make him cry. He had to think about other tactic. Actually there was no back into place, they were together now, at least for Murdoc. And they meant something, he had put his heart into that sex and what came next... This was wrong and he felt more than angry, sad. Like he had failed in bringing his singer back.

He sighed relieved when Stuart stepped back "Yeah I'm hungry..." He was really after hours awake not having eaten nothing. He entered the kitchen, would so something for them both, but those eyes made him give up on being gentle and he decided to treat the singer with a little indifference. Let’s see where his boldness would lead him. He went to make himself coffee, it helped hangovers. Would make Stuart some tea, but the real one, not this version. He was silent with his back turned to him.

Stu seemed to be acting a proper bully considering how he had stopped messing with Murdoc the moment he realized he wouldn’t get any sort of reaction of him in the least.  The front man hardly seemed to realize the effect of what he was doing was having on Murdoc, though, apparently too stupid to see that seeing him like this had been so bothersome.

When Murdoc had said he was hungry as well, the boy waved for him to follow and soon stepped into the kitchen.  "I don't figure we've got a taste for the same thing, but maybe..  What were you thinking about having?"  Stuart had approached the fridge and opened it, staring inside at its contents.  There were someone's leftovers in there and he figured he'd just help himself to that but he wasn't quite sure what the bassist was going to eat.

Soon 2D had turned his attention over to the older man and only then did he realize that Murdoc wasn't answering him anymore.  He squinted and straightened up, leaning on the door of the fridge as he kept it open.  "Oi.  Do you want anything or not?"

Even if they didn’t have the same taste Murdoc knew his singer preferences and wouldn’t mind making something for him.

Murdoc frowned to him when he asked in a tone Murdoc would use when pissed. He was just making himself some coffee. "I'll do something for myself mate, Don't worry bout me." He said in a monotonous tone. "Pick something for you, After I'll..." he sighed, that was gonna be a long day.

2D cocked a brow as he looked over toward Murdoc.  For a moment the bluenette bit his lower lip and then took a moment to glance around the kitchen and to double check he closed the fridge and then peeked out into the hall.  Once he deemed that nobody else was in the area he was quick to slip back into the kitchen.

Suddenly 2D had his arms around Murdoc's waist and he was nuzzling his cheek down into the back of the bassist's neck.  His gifted jewelry was pressed between them, the metal likely cool against Murdoc's back.  "What's wrong?  Is it me?  I'm jus'...  I'm just tryin' to make it seem like everything's normal, yeah?"  At least now Murdoc had an explanation for his sudden return to his white-eyed state.

Murdoc chuckled "Everything is normal, mate..." he lied trying to believe in that. "It's just something with your eyes that bothers me..." he dared to say. Stuart was really less aggressive now... he acted in some cozy way... so the bassist decided to give him a chance. He leaned into his touch. "I'm making coffee for me, want something..?" He tried to sound more polite when asking.

2D frowned softly when Murdoc mentioned that this newfound personality of his bothered him.  Stuart really wasn't sure what to do about that.  If suddenly he was back to his normal self now that Murdoc was around...  Well, what would the others think?  Really, he was much more preoccupied with the opinions of other people for his own good but at the same time he'd gotten some 'respect' when was like this and it was vaguely addictive to hold some sort of power.  This was a habit that would need to be broken over time, but at least it seemed easy for D to slip in and out of it, considering.  Probably worrying for the condition of his mind, but still.

"Coffee actually sounds good, mate.” he said quietly, pressing a kiss to the back of Murdoc's neck as if to calm him slightly and allay any fears he had about Stu and how he was acting.  "You know how I take mine, don't you?"

Murdoc raised his brow, "actually I don't, I know how you take your tea..." He shivered with that kiss. Did Stuart really liked coffee? Since when? Well Murdoc knew how he liked his, dark, bitter and almost without sugar, he thought stuart wanted him weaker and sweet, but he wouldn’t guess, he might be wrong. He put his own in a cup waiting his answer.

2D snickered.  "Well, at least you know how I take my tea, mm?"  Stu glanced around again before giving Murdoc's cheek a quick kiss and then stepping around him to grab his own mug from the cupboard.  He'd soon brought it back over to where Murdoc was standing and set it down on the counter in front of him.

"I'll let you fix it for me so you know.  I'll say 'when' as you add things."  With all said and done 2D's coffee was basically 1/2 coffee, a 1/4 cream, and 1/4 sugar.  Sickeningly sweet for someone with Murdoc's palate but it was just perfect for 2D.

Murdoc looked at him while he spoke. "So let me learn for a next time..." He said smiling. Murdoc put some coffee in his mug, just a bit. "    Cream and sugar..?" He purred leaning closer the singer loving the attention he was giving him, even if it was his white eyed persona. He tried his best but couldn’t remember Stuart avoiding his everyday tea.

As Murdoc added the coffee to the cup Stu had moved to fetch the milk from the fridge. The container was handed over and instruction was given on how much to add and then the sugar was finished off in a similar manner before Stu stopped to put the milk back in the fridge.

Upon returning to Murdoc's side he'd looped an arm around the man's waist while the other's hand picked up his mug and brought it to his lips fo a quick sip of it.  In the midst of this Stu could tell that Murdoc obviously thought something was amiss but he just laughed it off.  "I like coffee sometimes, okay?  Plus, you were havin' some, so..."  Copy cat.

Murdoc smiled fondly to him. "We are.." He lifted his cup "cheers mate.." He joked a bit and kissed his cheek, a little act of sweetness after so much attention to him. "Want something to eat or just your coffee, Stu...?" He wasn’t acting strange so far, so the Satanist decided to be cool with him. Wouldn’t hurt would it?

It really seemed that 2D had been telling the truth when he said that he was only acting that way before because they others were present.  Now that he was satisfied, it was just the two of them in the room he had allowed his demanor to soften a fair extent, even if those eerie white eyes had remained present all the while.  Maybe that wasn't such a bad thing, though.  Maybe Murdoc could stop associating them with something 'bad'.

"Cheers.” 2D replied with a grin, lifting his cup in time and having another sip.  "Mm..  I was looking at some leftovers in the fridge earlier.  They're not mine but if I eat them they are, aren't they?"  He was snickering then, looking deviously pleased.

"Well, no... you should ask who they are, Russel would get mad if it was his." Murdoc knew how the drummer was when coming to food. "Is there any name written?" They used to identify their things into the house after murdoc stole everyone stuff without asking first. he had his bad habit in the past. He was changed now, wouldn’t repeat the same old mistakes.

Slowly he let go of the singer looking for eggs and bacon for him. there were plenty of food in the house, no need to eat someone else's leftovers.

2D blinked when Murdoc of all people was lecturing him on doing the right thing.  2D pouted a little bit and then walked over toward the fridge again to take a look at just who the food had belonged to in the first place.  Stu winced when he saw that it was definitely Russel's name on the container and he definitely didn't want any of their drummer's wrath so he left it alone.

Attention was easily grabbed by Murdoc as it seemed he was going to make breakfast.  "Maki' summink for me?"  He sounded hopeful.

"Sure luv, what do you want..?" he didn’t say  please as normal, but that's okay it wasn’t an order... Murdoc would be glad to make something for him, as he thought Stuart wasn’t allowed to use the stove still. He placed the bacon and eggs in the frying pan "Or I can make what I'm doing for me for you too?" he offered gently.

Murdoc was definitely trying to change, Stuart taking other people's stuff wasn’t something he would do. Most likely Murdoc would, but he shrugged to that thought.

Stuart wasn't really a helpless as he seemed when it came to cooking.  In a pinch he could make something decent but it was probably safer overall to just have him stay away from the stove.  That and it spoke to his lazy nature which others played into surprisingly often.  Just like Murdoc was doing now.

"I'm happy to eat whatever you’re making for yourself.  Figure it's simpler that way than to make me anything special, too."  He didn't mind copying him again, it seemed.

Murdoc nodded putting some more bacon in the frying pan. "It'll be done in a minute..." He smiled to him sweetly.

After some minutes it was done, he grabbed two plates, one for him and one for the singer. He put the same amount of food into both of them, offering Stuart his. "Hope its good.." he said sitting at the table with his coffee.

2D grinned over at Murdoc, unable to keep the look from his face when the man had spoken so sweetly.  It was strange to hear him speak that way and stranger still that Murdoc was using that tone of voice with 2D of all people.

Once the food had been delivered to the table 2D seated himself with his mug and set it down so he could pick up his fork.  He took a bite and then nodded his head, satisfied.  "It's really good, Murdoc!"  The bluenette dug into his food then, occasionally taking a sip of his coffee.

"Well guess after so much time not even touching a stove I kind didn’t forget how to do it..." he chuckled a bit "Like riding a bike I guess.." he told him honestly happy to see the singer satisfied with what he cooked.

"Is your head better, mate?" he asked while eating, looking for a topic to talk. it was really good, he wondered if eggs and bacon were good with a coffee so sweet as Stuart’s.

2D seemed quite pleased with the combination of the savory taste of the breakfast that had been made for him alongside the sweetness of his doctore coffee.  The bluenette liked how they went together for whatever reason, but Stu was simply odd like that.

"Mm?  Oh!  Yeah.” he answered mouth still full of food in that second.  He swallowed the bite and washed it down with a swig of his coffee.  "Yeah, it is.  Thanks for checking in on me, luv.” he said, the word slipping out without any sort of sarcasm this time around.

"Anytime..." he slowly felt his hangover fading as well with eating and his strong coffee. soon he finished his plate and went to the sink to wash it. No murdoc never did that... but as last night he didn’t let the living room messed up this time wouldn’t be any different. He still felt infatuated when the singer called him love, his voice sounded like an angel talking to him. Murdoc didn’t expect to be anyone's love in his life. He smiled dumbly while working, hoping Stuart wouldn’t notice.

Stu was surprised to see Murdoc collect his dishes and bring them over to the sink.  Huh.  Maybe he really was changing, and much faster than expected.  Wouldn't that be nice?  Stuart had finished his food not long after Murdoc had and he picked up his plate as well to drop it off in the sink for Murdoc to tend to.  He figured if he was already washing the dishes he wouldn't mind washing his as well.

Stu glanced around for a second and then slipped behind Murdoc, clapping both hands up against his arse and giving a good squeeze.  "You look so cute doing chores~.” he purred into the older man's ear, leaning over him a little.  It was risky to be flirting quite this heavily in a public area but, as Stu had admitted, he liked danger.

Murdoc shivered and blushed when he was "attacked". "Me? Cute..?" he chuckled a bit... "Okay Stu..." he said smiling. "Is my arse cute too?" he teased a bit when he felt his long fingers on his rear. He smiled devilishly being a bit dirtier as the singer liked that "You didn’t tell me I was cute while riding me yesterday~.." he said in a low tone, his hands still into the sink.

2D couldn't help himself but to snicker when he felt Murdoc's body tremble for a moment after he'd touched him.  That paired with the blush on his cheeks had left Stu pleased as punch.  "'Course it is.” Stu replied, shifting his hands so that he could slide his fingers down Murdoc's back pockets, palms still flat against his arse.

"Mm..  That's cos you were sexy then, not cute~.” he replied, though not reduced to his usual blushing state.

Murdoc shivered again when called sexy. He still found himself a bit ugly and gross, but would never show the singer that. He was the personification of high self-steem. Hearing Stuart found him sexy was .. wow. "You were gorgeous Stu... so sure of what you were doing... simply amazing, love.. I really wish I could have done it earlier huh?" He complimented his skills to ride him. "Hope next time I can fuck you properly..." he said as a suggestion. Murdoc didn’t have the chance even to thrust him, Stuart made all the work. it was superb but murdoc wanted to try him in any position he could.

Stuart certainly thought Murdoc was attractive enough to want to shag, along with plenty of other people.  Then again, Stu had his shitty eyesight going for him but it wasn't like he hadn't seen the man up close too many times to count.  He knew exactly what Murdoc looked like and liked him just the same.

Stu turned his head slightly and nibbled upon the side of the man's neck before he drew away and slowly drew his hands off of Murdoc's body.  "Glad you enjoyed yourself.  Maybe next time I'll let you be the leader, mm?"  Seems there was at least a remnant of his cocky personality left.

Murdoc got excited hearing that. "looking forward to it Bluebird..." he teased lightly turning around and hugging the singer tightly. He looked into his eyes there were still white but he could deal with that for now. He leaned closer and kissed him, not really minding if anyone was around. his cross shone when he saw it against the light, it was so beautiful hanging on his neck.... made murdoc feel Stuart was his... the bassist had been teased and needed to do something back. he began snogging Stuart.

2D had a proud, easy sort of smile on his features when Murdoc had turned around to face him.  "I'm sure you are.” he replied, looking down into Murdoc's eyes throughout the little exchange.  His eyes had closed, however, when Murdoc had leaned in and captured the boy's lips with his own.

Stu's hands landed upon the man's shoulders, squeezing firmly.  He'd expected Murdoc to draw back soon after he'd started but when the man had instead thrust his tongue into his mouth Stuart had been quite surprised.

2D's eyes opened wide for an instant and he made a soft noise.  His hands gripped ever tighter to the man's shoulders but he didn't try and stop him at all.  Instead, he was kissing him back rather desperately.

Murdoc forgot about everything for a moment and just focused himself in his lips. They tasted like sweet coffee still and something else that was so Stuart’s. He felt addicted. His hands held him tighter pulling him closer, he couldn’t remember of kissing him that desperately the previous night. It felt so... right. If anyone appeared at that moment murdoc wouldn’t even mind. He turned the singer around pressing him against the sink, craving for more, even if he knew it was really dangerous. His nails slightly digged into his flesh going under the turtleneck.

2D had moaned softly into the exchange, tilting his head aside slightly as they kissed.  The boy's frail frame was easily moved where Murdoc wanted and his hands had moved to grip the edge of the countertop, fingernails dragged back against its surface before his bent digits remained still.

"Murdoc," Stu said softly, panting a little.  His face was unsurprisingly red and the boy soon swallowed hard.  "We're in the kitchen," he mumbled in a half-hearted reminder.

"Oh really... my bad I didn't notice..." He looked at him smirking. "Sorry... but I couldn't resist ." He placed a hand on his cheek. Even with his white eyes, he was red and panting, adorable like Murdoc adored. "I forgot about act like things were "normal" he teased letting him go. He was still in charge someway, managing to have the reactions he wanted from his singer.

"Where you wanna go to continue? Or prefer a break?" He chuckled panting himself and with his lips red from kissing. He took advantages of the opportunity to bite the singer's lips too. Another way to mark him.

2D turned his face slightly toward Murdoc's palm, nuzzling into it a little once the contact had been made.  "Right," Stu mumbled, obviously a bit frazzled, "Normal."  Which snogging with 2D pinned to the sink definitely was not.  Again, Stu took a moment to glance toward the entrance to the kitchen before his attention was recaptured by Murdoc's question.

Stu had been about to answer when he felt Murdoc's teeth graze his lip, a little whine of a noise sounding from the vocalist.  After a second's recovery, he composed himself enough to say, "I'd say your room but that would make things too bloody obvious, wouldn't it?"

"I dunno..." He shrugged "I said I wanted to spend the rest the day with you after talking to the others... if you're wearing my stuff didn't tell they already what could have happened I don't know what else would. ." He laughed a bit "you decide what to do luv... Even if it's carrying you around .." he joked now really letting him go for a moment.

2D supposed Murdoc had, indeed, said that he wanted to spend the day with him.  And why not?  He'd already said his piece to the others, after all, and that had been the only real thing on the man's to-do list for the day.  Stu's own schedule was suitably empty so it seemed he best over to slot some 'one on one' time with one another in.

"Well, you could carry me back to yours, then," 2D said with a little bit of a smirk, the sort more suitable for this 'new' him than the 'old'.

Murdoc raised a brow "Of course I can.." He found odd his request but wouldn’t mind... soon he decided to change the way of carrying him. this time he put him with his legs spread around his waist facing him and with  his arms under his ass. he placed Stuart’s arms around his neck and his head resting on his own shoulder.

 "May I do it this way...?I like your legs around me~..." Murdoc didn’t like that smile for sure, but carrying him wouldn’t hurt... he liked that kind of bond they were having . "Well this ain’t snogging and if you think it’s normal..." he joked a bit ready to carry him out. "Anything else you want, love?" he purred against his chest as the singer was really tall. Murdoc could swear his foot almost touched the ground from where he was.

‘D grinned when Murdoc had agreed to actually carry him.  He was the one that suggested it so why shouldn't Stu take him up on the offer?  2D had been expecting to be picked up like before but when he was lifted into another position, instead he didn't seem to mind in the least.  Ankles crossed so that his legs were wrapped tight around him and he nestled his head down against his own shoulder as his arms were up around Murdoc's neck.

"Well, s'not normal, but...  I mean, you already said they prolly figured it out cos of what I'm wearing," he said before answering Murdoc's question with a little shake of his head.  "This is good for now but if I think of anything I'll be sure t'letcha know."

Murdoc just nodded going outta the room. He slowly went to his own room with the singer in his lap. Going upstairs was a bit difficult he could tell but he didn’t mind, Stuart seemed happy while he was doing that. He could hear his thoughts saying "faster, faster..." he was a big child in the end. Soon when they arrived, he panted "Sweet Satan I'm a bit old for that..." he joked sitting on the bed with the singer still in his lap. He looked at him smiling. "We're here.."


	5. Confessions

2D seemed terribly happy to be carried to like this though perhaps with those white eyes his expression bordered on egotistic somehow.  He could tell that the stairs weren't terribly easy with himself in Murdoc's arms but he'd made no suggestion to set him down or anything.  If Murdoc wasn't complaining it mustn't have been that bad. As if to hurry him along Stu dropped one of his hands and gave his arse a smack.

"Yeah, maybe," he laughed, winking at Murdoc.  "But y'did it, though that's good, mm?  You're so stroooong," he commented, running his hands up and down the older man's biceps once they were sat down on the bed.

"Here we are," he murmured, smiling.  "What now, then?"

Murdoc found odd his compliment. And he frowned to the smack he received on his ass. It didnt sound genuine... he blushed a bit. Of course he still strong despite his age but Stuart have never seem to bother or notice that. "I dunno, you asked me to bring you to my room thought you wanted something here.." he said slowly stopping panting... "We can continue what we were doing in the kitchen I wouldn’t mind..." He lolled his long tongue outta his mouth. "Or anything you please... _I'm yours_..." saying that sounded a bit more... intimate and serious than he expected. His tone of voice wasn’t sarcastic, was honest.

He wanted to hear him sing, just lay down with him while watching TV... anything that could bring his old self back, but murdoc didn’t know what to do to achieve that, maybe more sex? No, he couldn’t just keep shagging the singer all the time.... he needed to think about another tactic.

"Oh by the way mate... I'm sorry for your shirt..." he pointed to the cloth laying lifeless on the floor. He gave him the turtleneck to replace the one he destroyed actually.

Stuart smiled broadly toward Murdoc when the man suggested that they could continue what had been happening a few minutes ago downstairs.  Stu thought about it but decided to put such a thing on the backburner when Murdoc claimed to be his.  The sincerity in his voice in that moment seemed to have caught the bluenette off guard and in an instant his eyes had returned to their 'normal' near-black color.

"I..It's okay, mate," he replied in a delayed fashion, blinking as if coming out of a daze.  "Not like I don't have more shirts.  You really fucked that one up, didn't you?"  The boy was giggling then, grinning.

Murdoc blinked twice, he actually came back with so little... he smiled to him feeling a bit better. Oh that sweet laugh, Murdoc stopped teasing immediately. "yeah... I wanted you pretty bad, it was just y’know? In the way..." he blushed feeling safer with those black eyes.

"20 bloody years of delay..." he giggled lowly... " _I can't believe you're mine now_..." he said with the same fond and lovely tone used before to see any sorta reaction and straightened his body so he could reach his forehead to kiss it gently.

2D's personality seemed to shift on by his control but the 'off switch' seemed to be some sort of startle by the looks of things, either it be physical or mental.  Considering the boy's concern for Murdoc in the kitchen even with white eyes, though, it seemed as if Stu still had some level of control over things.

"I gotcha, mate.  Thanks for, um..  Stopping when I was crying," The bluenette mumbled, glancing aside and seeming embarrassed to have done such a thing to begin with.  Stu crying wasn't anything new but it still brought him some sense of shame.  His cheeks reddened further when Murdoc had used that same tone with him and he raised his eyes slowly to look into the older man's.  "..Neither can I, but.."

Stu paused and dipped his head when Murdoc had leaned up to kiss it.  "But I've always been 'yours', haven't I?"

"Fuck Stu... I'm really... really sorry I didn't mean to make you cry I just..." it was a dick move for sure .. He stopped for a moment his apologies... the way he glanced aside made his chest hurt a bit. He felt really bad pushing that far... that's why he immediately placed the singer in his lap once he started crying.

 "I swear I won't do anything like that ever again..."if Stuart wanted him rough in the bed or something... He should just ask for... murdoc wanted him bad and he could have actually achieved his goal if it was to just fuck the singer, he knew that. He placed a hand on his face again to make Stuart look at him.

To his next question he smiled terribly fondly "In what way you say that love...?" He asked in a softer tone, after all the crying stuff he remembered. He touched Stuart like he was made of glass running his fingers on his face and looking deeply into his void eyes.

He knew Stuart was his... but he didn't like to think it was just cuz of the band or that he was "useful" for Murdoc. Was a lot more than that. He was his to love... Stuart just didn't know that yet.

2D shook his head a little when the man had apologized for what he'd done.  "It's okay, luv, it's okay.  M'not mad or anything, so..  So no need to apologize, yeah?"  It had really been more the loss of his 'top dog' status than the situation that had gotten him in the moment, anyway.

"It's really okay, mate.  Wasn't what you were doing, just..  How I was feeling," he admitted.  Stu didn't really mind getting manhandled a little - he'd gotten quite used to a non-sexual sort in his daily life, after all.

Stu had seemed a little surprised when Murdoc touched his face so gently but he soon pressed his cheek into the man's palm and then raised a hand to rest it on top of Murdoc's there.  "Y'know, just..  Everything," he said, seeming to have trouble getting his thoughts into words.  "Well, for one, I owe you my soul, don't I?  I'd say that's pretty big.  But also you made me.  You made me how I look.  Made me the front man of this band.  ..A creation belongs to its creator, doesn't it?"  An odd sentiment, but that was Stu for you.

Murdoc cracked a smile when he said he wasn't mad. For some reason he was glad due the fact he apologized. It made him feel less guilty about what he had done.

"Well Stu..." Murdoc began having problems with forming phrases too. "I owe you a lot y'know...? I think I never said that but... this band isn't anything without you... I mean if you were arrested or something like I was... Gorillaz would be over..." He said honestly, of course knowing that Stuart would never be arrested bit if he went missing for any reason...

"I am replaceable... you're not... I would never find someone with the voice you have... the appearance you have..." Ace quite remember the green skinned Satanist and played quite as good as him.

 _"You're Gorillaz.”_ He meant this for real. He hoped it meant something. All the recognition he deserved and Murdoc never gave him. "I created the band and you but..." He shrugged "it doesn't mean much right now.. guess the creature does better than the creator..." He chuckled... his chest kinda hurting to step on his pride that way. Big Murdoc Niccals admitting he was _less_ than Stuart pot

As he was addressed Stu's brows hiked a little bit to show an expression that read he was paying full attention to the Satanist.  As Murdoc began to speak he seemed surprised but he was outright shocked by the time that he'd gotten to the end of what he'd wanted to say.  For a few seconds Stu wasn't quite sure how to process this situation.  _Had Murdoc just suggested that 2D had more utility than him?_   Was somehow more important to the band?  It was all terribly flattering and things he'd never thought he'd hear come from Murdoc Niccals of all people.

"That's...  That's so sweet of you to say, Mu’doc," Stu said, smiling warmly and almost seeming on the verge of tears again.  At least if any fell they'd have been born of happiness rather than sadness or fear.  "But... You're just as important, y'know.  I could've never made this band."

"Guess things happens for a reason... y'know?" He chuckled feeling glad Stu was so happy he was almost in tears. This time the bassist liked making him cry. "I recognize now after all those years that... I always needed you. You Russel, Noodle... even Ace." He caressed his hair playing with a strand of it...

"When noodle came was a blessing y'know? I think she was what was missing for us grew up a little..." He chuckled. An addicted, an alcoholic and a man with the head full of ghosts weren't exactly what they could call of good dads...

"What I'm trying to say is that... you're important… had always been... and I never showed you, you were.. So... thank you. Thank you for making what Gorillaz is today..." He smiled to him.

 "You were who... well, _made my dream come true_..." fuck that was hard to admit. Even if Murdoc thought happiness wasn't for him... now with Stuart in his lap back home with his family... fuck he felt somewhat blessed. That everything he did was worth in the end. Even the lies and the shit he had done.

2D nodded adamantly.  "S'gotta be fate or something, yeah?  No other way this all would have happened," he said with a smile before he reached up and traced his thumbs beneath each of his eyes to sweep away any tears that had welled up in that moment.  His gaze flit sideways as Murdoc began to toy with his hair and the smile on his face had grown a little at the simple gesture.

The mention of Noodle first arriving brought back pleasant memories.  It was really a wonder that the four of them were still together after all these years but Stu was quite happy his little oddball family was still intact.

"I never thought you'd say anything like that to me, y'know?"  2D laughed softly, reaching up with both hands to cup Murdoc's face.  "And I'm glad you're back home where you belong.  No leaving us again...  _No leaving me._ "

Murdoc swallowed hard when his face was cupped.... maybe telling Stu all those words could manage to make his eyes stay black. " _We're family_... well you much more than family for me... but an important part of it..." He chuckled and wiped his tears smiling... "I should have said it really earlier... much earlier..." his own eyes watering.

Even noodle coming and his girlfriend leaving she was the glue that kept everyone together. And murdoc almost killed her. It was really serious what he done. "When they asked what was the best thing that ever happened to me... well I meant when I said the day I've met you." When he smiled tiny tears appeared... "Guess now I finally said all I needed for all those years Stu...". He chuckled "is there anything you want to tell me..?" He encouraged kissing his wet cheek.

2D couldn't keep the smile from his face as Murdoc had continued to speak.  It felt alien to have this sort of conversation but it also felt, well, good.  Stu was happy to hear every word that Murdoc had spoken and what was said meant everything to him.  "Really?..  Aw, I'm really glad you think so," Stu said softly, obviously flattered beyond belief.

"Guess y'did," Stu replied, leaning forward into the kiss that Murdoc had given his cheek.  The boy's arms landed upon Murdoc's shoulders, fingers interlaced a few inches beyond his head.  When put on the spot as to whether he had anything to say in return there was a brief pause.  Either 2D was scrambling to find something to say or trying to figure out how he wanted to word his thoughts.

Eventually he spoke.  "Just..  Just that you have made my life better than I could've ever imagined."  Sure, there was the years of abuse and unrequited feelings but all that was behind them no, wasn't it?  "And that..  That _I love you_."

Those words made the Satanist shiver... his heart beated fast and his eyes widened. So that was how he supposed to feel when in love? The grip around the singer tightened for a moment and he buried his face on his chest.

"You... love me...?" he mumbled quietly. How could they just be friends with benefits if Stuart felt so much towards him? He felt nervous and his arms shook. "I... i..." was really difficult for him to say but he definitely felt something towards Stuart. He choked and sighed.

"Me too..." he said lowly, he couldn’t say the same but he would learn how to, eventually, he wanted. "Since... since when...?" he asked still hiding himself feeling suddenly growing emotional. It was much easier telling him not looking into his pitch black eyes.

He hoped just that didn’t hurt Stuart he not able to answer. Murdoc grew up used to actions, he wasn’t good with words at all, and those three particularly he wasn’t ready to hear or reciprocate, not yet. Definitely hear them became the first thing he loved the most, the second was Stuart moaning his name and the third him singing.

2D bit his lower lip and nodded his head a little bit.  "Y..Yeah," he murmured in return, his own heart racing.  Had he really just admitted that?  He almost wished he could take them back, figuring he'd be seen as moving too fast or perhaps even be snubbed by the bassist.  When Murdoc had put his head against 2D's chest it was a little bit of a relief and the younger man held him close.

"I..  I"unno.  I've kinda always had a thing for you, if I'm being honest, but I think when you were gone I figured out how I really felt and that's why it hurt so bad that you were gone."

The fact that the most Murdoc could muster was a 'me too' was still better than nothing and the bluenette didn't seem upset or disappointed by any means.  He was just relieved he hadn't been told his feelings weren't reciprocated at all.  "It's okay if you don't feel the same, though.  I'm not expecting that."

Murdoc for a moment just heard his heartbeat... his ear against his chest trying to calm himself down and stay grounded. Stuart didn’t rush... he was glad hearing that, the singer could put it into words... but Murdoc still had his inner demons to deal with and his fear of hurting the singer after everything was just too big.

Hearing his explanation his chest tightened... so it hurt so much being away cuz he loved him. So simple, so natural... why murdoc couldn’t understand that? This time apart showed him how he cared and how he missed him truly. maybe the jail was a bless for both man.

Murdoc in a start pulled out and stared at him... "no... I ... " fuck, he didn’t know what to say Stuart was really kind not telling that he needed to feel the same but he could see by his eyes he was a bit disappointed.

 "Lemme... Lemme show you how I feel for you... how _I... belong with you_.."Stuart had said the creature belongs to the creator right...? But Murdoc had always wanted to belong to someone but never verbalized that... now he felt that for real. "I feel something for you... something... I’ve never felt for no one... " was the best way he had to explain growing nervous as he was.

Fuck, actions Murdoc... he hesitantly grabbed his wrist and pressed his hand against his chest. His heart almost going outta his rib cage beating so fast. "See? No one makes me feel the way you do..." he told him in a whisper, it was like that since ever, always when the singer was close and Murdoc never understood why. Now he was able to show it. Something stupid but murdoc wasn’t good with words and he knew Stuart wanted to hear what he felt.

Maybe showing could tell a bit more. He felt like that outta the bed, and not having an orgasm. It meant something.

2D's own heartbeat may have not been terribly comforting considering the rate it was pumping away in this moment of nerves and heightened motions.  There was fear in the bluenette's chest that he had said too much too quickly.  There was a good deal of nervousness involved but since Murdoc hadn't told him no outright he'd felt a little better about things.

2D's brows hiked in surprise when the man had hurriedly tried to explain himself but still didn't seem to be able to find the words he needed to get the point across. He smiled to make him feel safer to say.

There was really enough said by the way that Murdoc said he belonged with he singer but as the bassist took his chest and 2D could feel his heart race beneath his palm he knew for sure that Murdoc's words weren't for show or just to placate him.

For a moment it felt like everything was too much and 2D decided to try and be a little funny to try and lessen the moment a little bit.  "Huh, look it that," he said, smiling, "You _do_ have a heart."

Murdoc blinked and laughed at that. He wasn’t mocking... it was something definitely new for him discovering he had a heart. A heart that could feel so much for one person. "Even I didn’t know that till now mate..." he chuckled, his eyes slightly watering still. He was happy, like really happy as he hasn’t been in a while. Even his laugh was genuine. He shook his head.

When he looked up and saw how Stuart was, his mouth went dry once again. He licked his lips mesmerized. What he was feeling was definitely better than sex. Or as good as it was. He went mute for a moment and all he could say was "Stuart.." in a low tone, his lips slightly apart as his name was a kinda spell which brought his selfish black heart back to work. His hand went to his cheek again, his thumb rubbing his lower lip as he memorized each detail of his face.

Stuart had aged much better than him, he even looked like a teenager stucked into an older man's body or sorta. His blue hair keeping him always young some stubs he decided to keep in his "moustache" his void eyes that close he could see what was reflecting into them, even his pupils swimming in blood. Everything about him was perfect in the Satanist’s eyes. "a black eyed blue haired god..." 'That I fell in love with' he thought and smiled.

There had certainly been some days in the past that he wondered if Murdoc really didn't have a heart or if it was just as cold as dead one but finding that there was some obvious pleasant emotion for him there was a welcome 'discovery'.  When Murdoc had claimed to never feel like that for anyone else, 2D believed him.  The man hadn't really known love his entire damn life, had he?  Stuart only hoped these new feelings were something he'd enjoy rather than anything that would bother or stress Murdoc out.

2D grinned a little when Murdoc had said his name and as he felt Murdoc's thumb graze his lip he kissed the pad of it as it crossed over.  2D hadn't felt as content as he was in that moment in a good while and he was absolutely loving the little moment that they were sharing there.

As Murdoc repeated the words he'd used to describe him many moons ago the bluenette couldn't help but to giggle, cocking is head aside. "You still think that about me, huh?"  2D's expression was that of boyish glee. Despite the few wrinkles he'd gotten in his brow over time he had kept a good deal of his boyish features at 40.  His sad excuse for a mustache probably was 'helping' the teenage look along as well.

"So if I'm a god," he mused, smirking, "Does that mean you'll get down on your knees and praise me?"  His words were all in fun - his expression said that on its own.

After so many years being called by depreciative names it was kinda bonding call him by his birth name.. He usually dropped his nickname in serious situations. The singer knew that. It was something even more serious than bluebird... the fondly nickname he always loved calling his singer. He was a bird while singing... he could hear him whole day.

Murdoc felt bad that him aged pretty badly. He looked older than he was and he knew it was his own fault after years of drinking smoking and god knows what else.

to his last ask murdoc chuckled. He quickly managed to put the singer sitting on his bed and kneeled in one knee in front of him. Even if it was the perfect position for a blowjob and that made murdoc smirk well it looked like he was proposing him or sorta... he blushed thinking about that.

If his eyes weren’t black he would have thought it was a request from his now white eyed self. He looked at him from where he was "Is this praise enough... my blue haired god...?" he asked softly. Anyone who entered there right now would find the scene funny and ridiculous. But he would do anything to make the singer happy, carry him around "praise" him on his knees... he would decide if Stuart was going to far. He loved him right? couldn’t be mean with the Satanist.

2D had quite liked hearing his name in its true form.  The last time he'd known Murdoc to do so was in an interview while he was in jail and rather than being anything fond he’d been using it to call him out.  It was nice to have that little memory rewritten a bit thanks to this last time.

When Murdoc had set Stu down he seemed minorly confused until he realized that Murdoc was actually doing what he'd jokingly asked him to do.  Perhaps if it had been delivered by the alternate Stu it would have been an expected result but since the boy's eyes revealed his current state with their black color that wasn't the expectation this time around.  Still, the fact that it had happened at all was incredible.

The vocalist blushed furiously and giggled almost nervously.  "Ahh! Stoppit, stoppiiit!  I was just kidding," he laughed, raising his hands to cover his red cheeks.

in this interview murdoc really wanted to mock the fact he created "2D" and his  real name was Stuart. Was a dick move and he was just really angry. Even being a truth it was unnecessary to say in an interview and he knew that.

Murdoc chuckled as well. His sweet singer appearing once more. Quickly he sat down on the bed next to him "sorry I couldn’t resist. He ruffled his hair to lift the mood a little, adorable red singer. "I praised you yesterday, bluebird, huh I wasn’t kneeling but..." he smirked remembering his blowjob and the way Stuart asked first to do it. Sometime he would actually kneel down and "Praise" him properly.

2D grinned crookedly when Murdoc had reached to muss with his hair, head bowing a little bit during the moment of affection.  "Nah, I'm sure you coulda," he teased, leaning sideways until his shoulder rested against Murdoch’s arm and he dropped his head to the older man's shoulder, comfortable.

The red felt like it was never going to leave his face as it only continued as Murdoc mad mention of the 'praise' he had paid him the day before.  "Oiiii.  I said stoppit," he laughed, reaching to gently whap his palm against Murdoc's chest a couple times.  For how bold he'd been the other day he was a blushing mess at the moment.  Hard to believe it was the same person at all.

Finally relaxing a little, Stu heaved a small sigh.  "You're so bloody naughty," he pointed out, smirking.  Didn't seem much that the bluenette seemed to mind.

Murdoc chuckled and wrapped an arm around him, hugging the singer and slightly rocking him back and forth "I know... and you like..~" he lolled his tongue outta mouth playfully... "you should have chosen a better person to date..." the word slipped his mouth before he could notice. "to shag I mean... to shag..." back to the friends with benefits thing. He blushed and kissed the top of his head to be more casual.

There really couldn't be any argument against the suggestion that 2D liked how Murdoc acted.  There was no way he'd like the man at all if that wasn't the case.  "Maybe I do," Stu huffed playfully in response, a broad smirk playing across his features.

He smug expression was rocked when Murdoc had said the word 'date' and Stu's wide black eyes were set upon Murdoc then.  Although he'd tried to correct himself the seed of the idea had already been planted in Stuart's brain.  He tried not to show how excited he was in that moment and after a moment he'd snuggled up to Murdoc a little bit.  "Mm..  I guess so, but that's just how it is, y'know?  Can't help who you like and all that..."

"Yeah yeah..." murdoc was a bit nervous but he couldn’t help he was already thinking of something, more serious. Soon he felt he needed to avoid that topic, like he avoided his feelings and almost everything he could in life that was hard to deal. "er... are we gonna be here whole day just talking or... We will do something, Stu...?" Fuck would Stuart find that he pushed a little too far with the date thing? Well he told him he loved him, murdoc wanted to date... things were going pretty fast weren’t they? He quickly glanced over to El Diablo wondering if he still knew how to play it.


	6. Souk Eye

2D was easily distracted from the topic at hand when the man had asked about what they were going to do for the day.  2D shrugged his shoulders a little bit and cocked his head aside, curious.  "Umm..  I dunno?  I didn't really have any plans, though...  I never really have plans," he admitted, laughing.

The boy didn't seem very concerned about Murdoc's 'slip up', one-track mind now focused on figuring out what they were going to do that day rather than  worry about what they were at that moment.  2D's gaze followed Murdoc's toward his bass and the boy looked at the instrument as well, asking, "It's been a while, huh?  Did you wanna play?"

Murdoc giggled seeing his singer was still the same, doesn't planning his gay... "You guys don't have anything like shows, tours... related to music?" He was a bit out after that time in prison, about Gorillaz especially. "'Cuz if you don't have anything in mind I'd like to play.. as you said _El Diablo_ is still tuned" he smiled to him tempted to play. After all Stuart didn't play bass, or guitar... so he needed to learn how to tune or ask Noodle or Ace, it was a work Stuart didn't have any sorta obligation to do, was just kindness.

He stood up and went to grab him, was even shiny than he remembered, did Stuart do something with it? God, Murdoc never treated it well.. and was really jealous about his bass.. but for some reason he didn't mind Stuart taking it. He looked to the singer... "Like old times..?" he asked with a smile.

2D blinked and nodded a few times.  "Oh! Yeah, we've still got a few gigs left.  Couple weeks from now," he said.  The excitement of having Murdoc back home had caused this rather important information to slip from the bluenette's mind.  Thank goodness Murdoc inadvertently reminded him.

"Nah, mate.  I don't have anything so that sounds good t'me," Stu replied, smiling.  He watched quietly as Murdoc grabbed a hold of his guitar.  It was obvious that it had been well cared for in his absence and indeed looked a bit spiffier than he'd left it.  Stuart hadn't been lying about minding the instrument in his stead.

"Like old times," 2D said with a grin.  "Any requests?"

Murdoc thought for a second. He began playing. It was difficult in the beginning but his ability to play the bass came along with the gift from the Devil... so was like a déjàvu and soon Murdoc began playing normally "Sweet Satan, has been a while..."

When he asked about a request he thought for a second... "The last song from your new album huh...? I'll eventually have to learn how to play it whole to shows, right?" Ace would leave soon and the next tours he would need to be able to play. Besides that he was craving to hear the singer singing. "The one you showed me the footage... Would mind making me a personal show...?" He chuckled sitting on the bed facing the singer. If he had the paper of the lyrics or the partiture would make even easier to Murdoc .

2D sat back and just listened to Murdoc play for a few moments.  Whatever rustiness there was had faded rather quickly and he was playing will again.  Stu seemed suitably impressed.  "Y'sound just as good as you used to," 2D commented, flashing a thumb's up.

"Oh, 'Souk Eye'?  Sure!"  2D felt his pulse quicken as soon as he had thoughtlessly accepted the offer.  To sing that song not only in front of Murdoc but essentialy to Murdoc seemed suddenly daunting.  Still, if Murdoc was playing for the tour then he'd have to get used to it.

"Oh, hold on a sec," he said, "I'll be right back." 2D grinned and hopped out of bed and headed out of the room.  A stopover and his room and the studio later and he returned with his tour journal as well as the bass tablature.  2D set the tabs down beside Murdoc and then thumbed through his book until he found the page with the lyrics on them.  After he found it he set them down as well.  "That should help a bit, yeah?"

Murdoc waited him to come back, while Stu was gone he played, those thumbs ob encouraged him. His singer seemed excited to play Souk Eye..  something that made the Satanist chuckle.

 When he come around Murdoc couldn't help but stop for a moment and look at his journal... "Yeah that should..." He looked at the tablature... a bit less messy than Stuart used to keep his stuff. He smiled...

"What is this Stu...?" He didn't know about this journal... or pretended he didn't just to hear some explanation. There wasn't just lyrics there... When Stu thumbed the pages he could see another things... that made him curious. Stuart used to store his music papers in another way, not a journal... He put the tablature aside and looked at the singer for a moment, confused and curious.

2D seemed quite pleased with himself that he'd thought to fetch these things.  So much so that he didn't realize that now his journal that he made _The Now Now_ from was within arm's reach of the Satanist.  Of course he realized this when the man asked him what it was.

Before Stuart could stop him Murdoc was already thumbing through the thing.  Stu's eyes widened and suddenly he snatched the book back toward Murdoc in a quick, thoughtless action.  "It's..  It's just a journal I made on th'last tour an' a bit after that.  Made the album from it.  It's just..  Y'know, lyrics 'n' doodles 'n' shit like that..."

Murdoc raised a brow... "Well is there anything you don't want me to see in it...?" He asked seeing his thoughtless actions, Murdoc didn't have the right to obligate him to show anything... But he seemed scared of Murdoc finding out something?

The bassist didn't sound angry but concerned... it wasn't common for his singer hide things like that.  Were them serious or just doodles and lyrics like he said? Murdoc noticed when the singer was turning the pages that some of them had his name written on. That some of the drawings were his scratched face. "I'm an island.", "Selfish" and "I'm sorry too .." that could mean a lot of things when you thought about the relationship between the two.

He thought of a lot of things for his name being there ... but now they were together, Murdoc could have known what it was, could not he? Murdoc wanted him to trust himself. "May I?" He asked leaning a hand to grab it.

2D winced when the man asked that question.  He looked down toward the book and then back up at Murdoc .  He remembered the images of Murdoc he'd scratched out and the torn sticker for his dumb little _Free Murdoc_ campaign down the center of it.  Really, most of the rest of it was disjointed or simply cryptic so what was the risk of handing it over?

"I'm sorry," he said softly, soon holding the book out toward the older man again.  "I shouldn't have done that.  You can look at it."  It would have just been more suspicious if he denied there being anything amiss but still not handing it over, right?

"You should not have done what?" He asked as he looked at the diary ... They were mostly scribbles and the lyrics... his handwriting was never the best ... there were some parts missing ... Other doodles ... Loose sentences.

How should he interpret this ...? Everything seemed to have been written with a lot of anger ... some pages were even wet. Stuart was crying as he wrote ...? He looked at the book and then at the singer ... somehow felt happy that he trusted him to see something personal like that, there was a feeling in what was written ...

Another part of him felt bad for his singer. He did not say a word to her, but he understood the message by looking at the Stylo drawing most likely on the page that had the lyrics of Souk Eye along with "I'm a Renegade" in large letters and with red chalk on top.

Stuart missed him so much, it should have taken him a while to write down that diary ... there were even some pills in a few pages ... did he take more than he should from his pills? Murdoc had a lot to ask ... but instead he placed his hand on her knee soothingly and looked at him for a moment. "Weren't you good at all were you, mate...?" He asked sounding serious. He didn't care much of what was written properly, some words he couldn't even understand so messy.

2D gave a weak shrug before mumbling, "Just..  Snatched it like that.  That was really rude," he murmured.  If his eyes were white he'd likely have not given any sort of fuck about it but this was the real Stu, submissive and uselessly apologetic.

The bluenette's journal was a strange one outside of the lyrics contained within.  Stu didn't know what Murdoc would think of him seeing his somewhat crazed looking writing and such but when the bassist's hand landed upon his leg he was relieved to know that Murdoc wouldn't think any less of him by the looks of it.  "Nah," he mumbled quietly, shaking his head.  "Not at all."

Stu began to nervously fidget with his fingers, eyes downcast toward them before he lifted them to Murdoc again.  "S..So.. Did you want to try playing it?"  After asking he snapped his fingers.  "Shit, shoulda grabbed my keyboard..."

Murdoc noticed he was nervous. "No that's okay... It wasn't rude..." Things Murdoc did in the past were rude and cruel. Putting words in paper thinking about him didn't sound any rude. He felt flattered even.

When he began fidgeting with his fingers Murdoc slowly grabbed both of his hands letting the book down and kissed them. All of them, as to reassure him that he didn't need to be nervous, the Satanist wouldn't think anything bad about him after reading it. he was glad he showed him. 

"I want, Bluebird." he smiled letting his fingers softly go. Murdoc was always infatuated about his hands. Something about they were so soft, long fingers... Like they were painted. Even with some rugs they were still beautiful. "Oh I thought you would want just to sing Stu... please bring it..." he looked at him "Show me _your_ song." he emphasized that it was his, to make him comfortable.

2D watched in something like wonder as Murdoc had taken the time to kiss each of his fingers. Stuart had found the gesture to be quite romantic and he could feel his heart beginning to speed up in his chest again at the sight and feel of it.

Once his hands were released and Murdoc encouraged him to go get his keyboard he nodded a few times in agreement and then crept off of the bed again.  "I'll be right back again, sorry," he said with a little laugh before he headed out to obtain the instrument.

It wasn't long before he had returned with his keyboard beneath his arm, settling in on the be once more and placing the instrument in his lap. 

He cleared his throat and then smiled broadly toward the man.  "Ready?"  Once Murdoc had given his okay he had started, adapting what would be done on other instruments into what he played on his keyboard.  He'd written the original demo with just keys so it was quite easy to make the transition.  Soon he'd begun to sing, keeping his eyes closed for the time being - he couldn't look at Murdoc just yet.

_"LA why you're so complicated for me, twilight..._

Murdoc nodded to his decision of grabbing the keyboard. Would be easier for him to follow the song with it and Stuart's voice.

While he was out, Murdoc managed to open his journal in the right page of _Souk Eye_ lyrics. He began playing and noticed Stuart was with his eyes closed.. he didn't mind at all, he thought he was just focused... The Satanist just couldn't close his 'cuz he needed to look at the tablature not to get any wrong note... but eventually he did it.

Despite the bluenette having his eyes shut, his fingers didn't miss a single note.  It was quite obvious that he had memorized both the layout of the keys as well as the notes of the track.  Considering how many times he'd played it so far, though, it really wasn't that shocking that he knew what he was doing.

2D sang with a good deal of emotion, especially now that he was performing the track alongside and in such close quarters with the person that had inspired the words.  Only near the end of the first verse did he find the courage to look Murdoc 's way, singing earnestly. 

_If loving you's a felony now that I'm a renegade riding...  Trying to find tomorrow ain't easy until you dive in..._

Murdoc heard each of the words. It was just him and Stuart in an empty room... No sorta of noise disturbing their connection. Really different from being on stage with all the fan's yells. Oh sweet Satan how he wanted to go back on stage with his singer. He smiled to that thought...

He could almost touch his feeling hearing him voice. Murdoc felt embraced by it, knowing that it was for him. Murdoc knew Stuart wasn't going anywhere... and now he could finally breathe knowing Stu-pot was his. For sometimes the bassist thought he wouldn't be able to hear him anymore...

After a while he looked up noticing Stuart looking at him. He cracked a smile missing a note due to his emotion. Fuck those lyrics were superb.

2D's heart skipped a beat when Murdoc had smiled toward him and thankfully the bit of romantic tension had been broken when Murdoc had missed a note.  Stuart continued to sing, every word dripping with honest emotion.

As the end of the song started to near he'd looked directly into Murdoc 's eyes, leaning over his keyboard slightly and toward the bassist as he crooned,

_I want to stay with you for a long time, I want to be stone love.  I wanna see LA in your eyes when I'm leaving with your love._

Much like he did in the concerts his voice grew with emotion and force on the last chorus, repeating the last four words three times as his right hands fingers moved up two octaves and began plinking out the notes of the outro.

_I will always think about you... That's why I'm calling you back...On my way through_

Finished, Stu was a little out of breath and he looked almost expectantly toward the Satanist.

When Murdoc missed the note he frowned and quickly went back to look at the tablature. Focus. He laughed a bit at that... Stuart even after so many years still touched him that way. And he thought that even if he got away from his keyboard for as long as Murdoc did, he would do much better and get much less wrong notes.

When Stuart came closer, if Murdoc was standing, he would have fallen with his knees giving in. Fuck, his heart was in his throat. The Satanist hold his breath for a moment and he was mesmerized... It was really for him... now he believed. He missed three notes in a row and almost couldn't play anymore near the end.

The song was over and then silence filled the room. Murdoc's hands were shaking and his mouth went dry. He was blinking to hold back tears. For a moment the Satanist felt like when he first met Stuart, when he asked the singer to play for him the instruments he had and sing for him after the second accident. When it was the very first time he felt that weird sensation in his stomach and his heart racing.

_He swore he could see 19 years old Stuart in front of him that hour._

_"I love you."_ Murdoc said in a whisper looking into his eyes. He didn't hesitate, he didn't stutter, he just told him. The Satanis felt a big lump in his throat and his eyes watered. What he really wanted to say was thank you. But what he was feeling was far from only gratitude.

2D had felt quite emotional in the moment as well.  As if all of his true feelings had been laid bare.  Murdoc's reaction would mean a lot and Stu could only hope that it was a good one instead of possibly being disappointed or anything like that.  Not that there was any reason to be but Stu worried about unnecessary things sometimes.

The words that left Murdoc's lips caused Stu's eyes to widen and his frame to freeze up.  He...  Loved him in return?  For a few seconds Stuart forgot to breathe and only when he began to feel lightheaded did he snap out of it.

"D-Do you really mean that?"  Of course he did.  He'd said it with complete conviction.  It still felt like things were speeding along but at the moment Stuart didn't care.  Love.  This was love, mutual and true.  "Cos...  Cos I love you too, you know that..." He chuckled.

Murdoc nodded placing El Diablo on the bed. He meant that, and after hearing him sing... it was just what was missing for the Satanist had the guts to tell him the truth. When it came to music Murdoc always could use it to express his true feelings. The ones he didnt have the courage to verbalize.

He took Stuart's keyboard from his lap placing it next to his bass and opened his arms inviting him to a hug. Now he could say and act to show him he loved him. "I do. I love you, Stuart." he said in a deeply fond tone and smiled to him. "C'mere, Bluebird"

2D was quite the same when it came to writing music.  Oftentimes he could express himself there much better than his speaking ever could manage.  It was comforting to have that sort of outlet and something they both shared so even if they were unaware of the other's habit it was something they shared.

As Murdoc set his guitar aside and relieved Stu of his keyboard the bluenette looked toward him and then broke into a grin when the man had repeated the words in such an honest, warm fashion.  Without hesitation the bluenette slipped forward and into Murdoc's lap, wrapping his arms tightly around the older man's body.  "You don't know how happy it makes me t'hear you say that.  IT's....  It's  honestly kinda scary but...  In a good way?"

Murdoc chuckled and held him close, "It's a relieve for me telling you..." he confessed sniffing his hair, it smelt really good. The satanist placed him in his lap and kissed his cheek. Soon he pulled a bit away but still in his lap so he could see his eyes. This time he would talk to the singer the way he deserved, not avoiding him.

His hand went to his face, and then to his hair. Murdoc hated his singing voice, but he decided to whisper to Stu, just for him and just for that time. " _I have to tell you... that I ... love you so much these days... I have to tell you... that I love you so much these days it's true..."_ he smiled to him, hoping he wouldn't run away after hearing how terrible his voice sounded when he sang. Murdoc wanted to do something close to what his singer had done. Confessing him using his music for that, he hoped he could do.

2D nuzzled his cheek into Murdoc 's neck for a few seconds until the man had drawn back.  Stu lifted his gaze to meet Murdoc 's and the kiss to his cheek made him smile from ear to ear.  This moment was one that Stuart was certain he was going to remember forever.  _The first time there had been a mutual 'I love you' between the two of them._

Murdoc 's singing was a surprise and Stu couldn't help himself but to giggle a little.  Murdoc 's singing wasn't the greatest in the universe but to 2D it sounded quite nice thanks to the words that he was singing.  Stu felt his heart melt in that moment.  Thinking back on other lyrics from that song 2D smiled broadly and quietly said, "You don't have to wait to be forgiven anymore, Muds."

Murdoc frowned a bit... "I don't?" he looked at him and rubbed his nose against the singer's. "Why..?" he whispered lost into his eyes. Maybe some dark part in his mind still told him he didn't deserve to be forgiven. Murdoc thought maybe he never would be forgiven... thinking otherwise was difficult.

Stuart shook his head slowly before focusing on returning the rub of noses.  "Cos I forgive you.  I forgive you for...  For bloody everything, Mu'doc.  Every bad thing you've ever done or will do..."  Seems 2D didn't think that this change of Murdoc's would be 100% instantaneous.  At least he had a reassurance that even if he did slip up Stu would still be there, as ad as it was.

"It's all behind us now, innit?"  His voice was full of adoration and hope.

Murdoc 's eyes widened. He was really forgiven. He hugged the singer so he wouldn't see his face. He buried it into his chest. "Yeah it is Stu... all behind..." he sniffled "All in the past... what matters is for now own... and fuck... I want to make you so bloody happy Stu... I want so bad.." He was feeling blessed beyond comparison.  "I want to start again with you.." he slipped the words... like he could take back all the years of abuse and mistreat but he knew he couldn't, he could just start now and change their end... like the changed man he said he was.

As Murdoc  put his face down against the bluenette's chest the boy raised a had and placed it to the back of Murdoc's head, running his fingers through his hair a little bit. Stu could tell he was in a state of heightened emotion and wanted to be a comfort for him in that time.  "I'm sure you will, Mu'doc.  You'll do your best and make me the happiest lad on Earth," Stu said with a smile, sounding quite certain.

They both knew the pat between them could never be erased or truly forgotten but perhaps from here on out they could make better memories.  Ones worth remembering.  Stu pressed a soft kiss to Murdoc 's forehead and then breathed a comfortable sigh.  "I'm so bloody happy you're back and here in my arms.."

Murdoc  took a deep shaky breath "I'll I promise..." he had no more time to waste. He closed his eyes to that kiss. "I'm bloody happy you're only mine..." he chuckled leaning closer and kissing him softly and tender.

From now own he just hoped his 'new persona' was gone for good after he told him his true feelings. Or that if it comes back, Murdoc  knew how to deal with it. He slowly broke the kiss and leaned closer his ear "I'm so in love with you, Bluebird.." he admitted softly like all the times he fantasizing about the singer doing the same to him, saying the same words with this fondly tone.

2D was quite pleased to hear Murdoc's vow to make him happy.  He was quite sure that the man would live up to that promise as well considering how seriously he seemed to be taking this whole 'new him' thing.  Of course it didn't erase the past but there was still plenty of time to make new, better memories between the two of them.

2D leaned into the kiss he was given, eye falling closed before opening again as they parted.  When Murdoc spoke into his ear 2D made a giddy sort of noise and wrapped his arms tightly around the man's shoulders, giving him a rather tight hug for an instant before he relaxed his hold before it could grow uncomfortable.  The bluenette had settled into a comfortable silence then, just sitting there and admiring the older man.

_“I think I’ve always been in love with you, Twilight.”_

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [Tumblr](https://gabshmatos.tumblr.com)


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